Take me to heaven: I'm yours
by Shiawase na Seikatsu
Summary: 10 years of separation and they're forgotten how it was when they were together. But now, they're on separate sides of the bridge. Toshiro and Karin. Multi chapter. 2 Parts.
1. Part I

**PART I**

…

_She has a smile adorned on her face._

_And a smirk to cover it up._

_A tear for the memories._

_And a box to lock them up._

_…_


	2. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach._

_Note: The present/a decade earlier thing might get a little confusing. That's alright. But try to keep them in mind, make sure you know when each thing is happening, whether it's in the present or the past. It's kind of important. Later on in the story, there will be no more past sections and the story will run normally in the present. I'll tell you when that will be happening._

_Oh, and just to clear up any misunderstandings, Rain is Karin. They are exactly the same person. This may confuse you now but I promise it will be explained throughout the rest of the story. So when you see 'Rain', you'll know that it's not an OC, but that it's really just Karin._

_Oh and points to those who correctly guess why I renamed Karin into Rain in the present sections. :)_

_Enjoy!_

* * *

**Take me to heaven: I'm yours**

_Chapter 1: Or maybe, it's a trick of fate._

* * *

**(Present)**

Rain entered the empty house through the window and held her breath, waiting.

When nothing stirred and no signs of life were apparent she laughed, enjoying the freedom. She ran over to the closet, opening it and breathing in the soft, musky scent. It felt…nice.

She jumped backwards and felt her back hit the soft cover of the mattress. She lay on the bed and laughed again, letting her emotions spill freely. It didn't take long before she was softly snoring, curled up against the frame, cold to the touch but strangely pleasant.

…

She woke up crying; childishly hiding her tears in case anyone happened to be looking. It was instinctual.

She wiped her tears off her face, wondering why they had fallen. She tried to remember the dream, but was only successful in recalling vague darkness.

She inhaled, once again tasting the scent of the sweet, salty air that she just could not get enough of. She brushed her hair back from her face and sighed as she turned to face the window.

It was time for her to leave.

An Espada waited patiently there for her as she jumped out from the window. Truthfully, (though she would never have admitted it to anyone) he was an angel who had rebelled from heaven, only to fall into hell. After so long spent in that empty jail cell, his heart was frozen. But, if he was dying inside, it was completely and seamlessly concealed.

Ulquiorra had stunning green eyes that almost never seemed to brighten and dark tear tracks that dripped sorrowfully down his face. His hair was like silk – the perfect shade of black – his lips thin and tight. Though dark and somewhat emotionless, he was beautiful. He was what Rain liked to call her _BFFL._

_Be my BFFL: Best Friend For Life._

"You're late."

_Or at least... the rest of my existence._

She rolled her eyes. "It's not everyday you get to return to your hometown after what, 10 years of death? I had to make the most of it, especially because of the stupid fact that I don't actually remember anything."

"You shouldn't really expect to remember anything." A slight tug on the corners of his lips; her presence had always comforted him.

She shrugged, already getting bored with their conversation. "Let's go. That ditzy woman is waiting for us, right?"

"I suppose so."

She followed him back through the large rip in the sky; her long, smooth fingers tracing the outline of the black tattoo of a "7" on her stomach.

…

**(A decade earlier)**

"Karin!"

She turned at the sound of his voice, eyebrows raised in surprise.

"To-Toshiro?"

"Hello," he greeted her awkwardly.

"You came back?" She beamed.

He shrugged unconcernedly. "Only for a short while. I have something for you."

He pulled out a small blue box and passed it to her. "Open it when you get home. I must go now."

Karin stared at it incredulously. "Wait, what? Are you proposing to me?"

He blinked. And blinked again.

"Of course not!" he shouted, blushing a crimson red as her words began to sink in. Then he looked away, still uncomfortable to express his emotions openly. "It's just something… to show how much our friendship has meant to me. And… and I want to thank you for making my stay in the human world so much happier than it could have been."

She glanced at him and grinned. "Same here."

Toshiro looked at her strangely for a second, as if he was debating something in his head. "So, uh… best friends?" he stammered.

Karin laughed out loud, amused at his embarrassment. She knew how hard it must have been for him to say that. "Best friends." She grinned.

They bumped knuckles, as she had taught him to do, years before. Then he left, disappearing from her as aptly as he had come.

It is sometimes a surprise, when you realise that a wave keeps crashing back to the shore. Your toes just barely brush the foam before that wave pulls away, leaving a shadowy dark patch in its wake and your toes that are exposed to the damage of the howling wind - And then the wave comes back, roaring loudly and soaking you to the bone, leaving you with a heart that will soon be wet, drowning in waterworks of tears.

She smiled.

"So desu, Toshiro."

…

**(Present)**

"You're late." The self-proclaimed _shinigami_ king spoke smoothly, almost daintily. His captivating voice cut through the atmosphere like a fire fuelled on petrol.

_(Watch out, you're standing right there)_

It was an inevitable death.

"My deepest apologies." She smiled through gritted teeth, bowing down to him, her voice not so subtly layered with sarcasm. "I had no idea that my entire schedule was to be planned out to include you, Aizen-sama."

As long as she used honorifics, there was nothing he could do to accuse her of being disrespectful. Plus, pushing the limits was fun.

"In fact," she went on, fingering the small necklace draped around her neck. "I had absolutely zero knowledge that I had to plan out my entire _bathroom_ schedule for you." Eyes that sparkled like million dollar diamonds; sharp, cunning ad devious.

"Lying is an nasty habit Rain, even for you." A silky drawl. A delicate sip of tea. "I'm sure you weren't in the bathroom."

"But how would you know, Aizen-sama, unless you were stalking me?" Her dull eyes glinted dangerously and maliciously as she went in for the kill. Figuratively, of course. Nobody dared to even think about planning any form of attack upon Aizen.

He merely laughed and set down his teacup, brown eyes twinkling in mock amusement. "Why should I waste my time stalking a minor such as you?"

Fingers tapped agitatedly on the table.

_Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap._

"Ulquiorra?"

_Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap._

"I'm afraid that is correct, Aizen-sama. Rain had urgent needs to attend to. I'm afraid to say that she suffers from constipation."

Rain smiled pleasantly and nodded as if constipation was a common occurrence in Las Noches. The brown haired devil smiled playfully. He loved it when he had a good joke to play upon.

_Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap._

"My! I wasn't quite aware that Hollows could become constipated. What a fascinating new discovery," said he, smiling at her with almost genuine adoration.

_Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap._

"I'm glad you find it so wonderful." Rain trilled. "Maybe you should try it someday."

_Tap. Tap. __**Screech**__._

"That's quite enough." Aizen glared at her, once again looking like the monster he had hidden behind that fragile mask of kindness and sympathy. "Let us start the meeting."

A bit of shuffling and a loud screech of metal on metal indicated that Rain was properly seated.

"So, let's begin."

A pleasant enough smile.

_Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap._

…

**(A decade earlier)**

Karin tossed the box up into the air and caught it. It made a jingling kind of noise as it landed into her palm and she smiled.

The small blue box felt warm in her hands; no doubt he had kept it in his pocket all the way to her. She pried it open slowly, not wanting to spoil the surprise. Nestled snugly inside a soft velvet sat a necklace with a chain so thin that it was hardly visible. A small figure, carved intricately, hung delicately from the chain. It shone radiantly in all the lustrous colours of the rainbow. The centrepiece was a crystal, she realised. It was shaped into the form of an ice dragon and she grinned as she clasped it between her fingers. It felt cool and surprisingly fresh.

An ice dragon, how ironic.

It was beautiful, though. And she would wear it, in memory of their friendship, forever.

She tipped the box over and a small piece of paper fell out. She picked it up curiously and unfolded it.

…

_Karin,_

_I'm sorry that I had to leave so soon and I didn't know how to say goodbye._

…

"Damn right." Karin said, clicking her tongue.

...

_I'm not __an openly emotional person. In fact, I usually leave that kind of thing to Matsumoto. But I wanted you to have this as a farewell gift. I hope you will wear it for a long time to come._

_I made this necklace myself. Not the chain of course, but the dragon. It's made from __Hyorinmaru's ice. I wanted you to have something to remember me by._

…

Karin laughed softly to herself. "Soft bastard." she said fondly.

She picked up the necklace and fastened firmly around her neck. It would be her substitute ice dragon now that her real one had flown away.

…

_Stay healthy, and __**alive**__, please. For me._

_That is all._

_Toshiro._

* * *

_R&R please! Flames aren't encouraged, but I don't really mind them either. _


	3. Chapter 2

_Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach._

_Note: Okay, one more chapter to guess why she was renamed. The next chapter will explain. As always, please keep note on whether these things are happening in the present or the past. It might help a little with your understanding of the storyline. Otherwise it'll get a little confusing._

_Oh, and last chapter I forgot to mention and give credit to my awesome Beta. She's fantastic. Let's all clap for RukiLex!_

_Enjoy!_

* * *

**Take me to heaven: I'm yours**

_Chapter 2: What a spill of blood, a waste of a life._

* * *

**(A decade earlier)**

_He flew towards her, wings outstretched. His distressed face __reflected something resembling pain or... fear. Maybe he wanted to tell her something. There was something urgent about the way he was travelling. He seemed __almost scared. Desperate_.

"_Toshiro!" she cried out, beaming at his sudden appearance. "Why are you here?"_

_He came to a stop in front of her._

"_Karin." He choked. "I missed you so much. I-I missed you, Karin. Why did you have to go and… and…"_

"_You idiot! I never left! Why are you going all soft on me? Toshiro?"_

_She vaguely realised that this couldn't possibly be reality. But the fact that the scenery kept changing and that even his hair colour had turned a vicious shade of green didn't concern her at all. It __didn't stop her from panicking any less__._

_He shook his head slowly and opened his eyes. They were tired and bloodshot._

"_I was there for you, Karin. So why couldn't you be there for me?"_

"_What?"_

_She reached out to grab at his arm but her hand fell straight through him. Like water, her hand slipped through __his body __effortlessly and she grasped nothing but air. Panicking__ again__, she reached out to try and touch him. His head, his shoulders, his hands. Anything. Each time, her hand would just sink through his body __as if it __wasn't there._

_With shock, she realised that he couldn't see, hear or feel her presence at all. It was as if she had become a ghost. A ghost to a ghost. Was that even possible?_

"_No. No. No." she murmured. "No. This isn't happening. No. No. NO!"_

_He bent down and placed a bundle of flowers at her feet. Lilies._

_In front of a gravestone._

_Her grave._

_She screamed, her echoing voice splitting her own ears. The noise was deafening._

_But he didn't even flinch._

…

Karin awoke, covered in sweat with the metallic taste of blood in her mouth.

"A nightmare." She muttered to herself. "Just a nightmare."

The sun was rising and a new, bleary day was about to begin. She got up shakily and decided she'd take a morning walk to clear her thoughts. The events of her nightmare flashed through her mind like a demon blowing darkness into her sunny sky.

…

The streets were still empty and the cold fresh air felt refreshing as Karin walked slowly down the footpath. Her hands were thrust deeply into her pockets and her head hung down, mouth mashed firmly into a hard line.

She missed him already.

She fingered the necklace around her neck and sighed. He wasn't going to come back for a while, she knew. If she was lucky, he might return in a few years' time.

A sudden thought popped up in her mind and she began running steadily towards the soccer field where he had helped her play her first soccer game so many years ago. She had been ten years old then, oblivious and innocent to the world around her.

Karin smiled softly and plonked herself down on the grass as the sun began to rise beside her. They felt like old companions, she and the sun, never leaving each other's side. All her best memories were made under that sun. The sky glowed in alien shades of yellow, unknown to the human vocabulary, casting long shadows across the grass, and the rays were so bright she had to shield her eyes from them. _Even so, it's a beautiful sight,_ she thought, _one of the many things that humans never seem __able to appreciate properly._

With that thought in mind, Karin picked herself up and began running again. This time, she sprinted her way over to the old, rusted railing where Toshiro used to sit. She could still see his silhouette, leaning casually over the railing, fingers furiously mashing several keys on his phone.

_It's to watch the sky_, he had said. _It brings back memories._

She perched on that exact spot where he used to sit and watched as the sun worked its way slowly towards the centre of the sky. He was right, it did bring back memories. She felt herself aching for him to return. But that was just selfish. He had other priorities too. Soul Society needed him more than she did.

A pang of jealousy struck her and she tried half-heartedly to drive it out. It didn't matter what she thought though, her opinions couldn't matter anymore.

A couple of hours later, Karin got off the railing and jogged down the pathway towards the Kurosaki Clinic. It would be morning soon and Yuzu would start to worry if she wasn't home. Her toned legs glided her effortlessly and soon she found herself running briskly along the river. She paused to catch her breath and began walking. The road was bumpy and felt rough beneath her feet. She soon found herself at the crossing. Without bothering to look, she walked straight across.

It was a mistake, really. Like those stupid ones you do in maths when you calculate one sum wrong and the whole problem becomes incorrect.

Small, irritating, and oh-so painfully regrettable.

The small red sports car sped silently down the road.

She had one step left! One small step!

With a crash and a loud resounding scream, Kurosaki Karin never made that last step.

Red, just like her blood.

Such a painfully regrettable mistake.

…

**(Present)**

A sad smile. _Reassurance_.

An angry glare. _Comfort._

An empty container of memories.

A familiar _reiatsu_. A tired sigh, annoyance.

She brushed the small ice dragon hanging from her neck in soft, caressing strokes.

"Grimmjow, piss off. You've broken our bet."

He crept up behind her, his fingers lightly tracing the curve of her hips and his breath blew softly into her ear. She elbowed him ungracefully in the gut.

"Aww, but that was ages ago. It doesn't still apply, does it?" When she didn't reply he tried tweaking another nerve. "Somebody's feeling awfully grumpy today," he teased. "Is it because of what Ulquiorra was saying during today's meeting?" He was gauging for a reaction and she knew it. She sighed, wishing he could just go.

"Can't you just leave me the hell alone?"

Grimmjow gave her a devilish smirk, pleased that his goal to annoy her had succeeded. "How about a battle, darling? Loser can become the other's… minion for a day, huh?"

Rain glanced at him with interest. She wanted to resist, knowing the consequences if she lost, but the competitive side of her took over.

"You're on." She said, grinning for the first time that day. Grimmjow had that effect on her.

"Excellent. Tomorrow, 10 o'clock, in the space behind my room. I'll be waiting."

She smirked, feeling the rushing adrenaline at the prospect of a fresh, new fight. She imagined the possibility of becoming Grimmjow's minion. The results weren't pleasant.

_Well, I'll just have to win then_.

…

"Are you ready, Rain?" Grimmjow asked challengingly.

"Of course I'm ready." She shot back defensively.

He didn't wait for her to draw her sword before attacking her with his own. She dodged sharply and flipped in the air, successfully landing a painful blow at the back of his head with her foot. Then she jumped lightly onto his back and drew her sword, preparing to slice him fully in half. In the blink of an eye, he disappeared and a split second later, blood spurted freely from a deep gash in her shoulder. She let out a shriek, as she fell, not so gracefully, to the floor.

"Weak." He taunted. "Pathetic little weaklings like you shouldn't even be given the opportunity to live."

Rain glared at him. "I'll show you," she snarled. "exactly which one of us is _pathetic._"

She lunged at him, capturing his blade against hers. It was a battle of strength and the desperate will to be better than the other - to prove one's own power and courage. Grimmjow struck again. When she didn't counter-attack fast enough, his blade sunk smoothly into her skin and he pulled it sideways, cutting her stomach. She screamed and jerked backwards, doubling over in agony. Blood spurted down her legs in thick streams and she swore, hating herself.

_That bastard!_ She growled behind her teeth. She would kill him, right here right now. She screamed and charged at him, sword poised to kill. He stopped it with his bare hand. Her eyes widened in disbelief.

"You idiot." He spat. "You retard. You fucking _loser_."

Rain stood there, frozen in shock. His fingers closed around the tip of her blade and yanked it from her grip. Her sword clattered loudly to the ground. He sneered at her.

"I bet you never knew Rain; that you're nothing. You're just trash. A complete _waste of space_."

Rain fell to her knees, paralysed under the huge pressure of his released reiatsu. _Move!_ She screamed mentally at her body. _Why won't you just move!_

He laughed mirthlessly. "Rain darling, I bet you never knew that you weren't even _hollow_. Let alone _Espada_."

_What?_ No of course she was. She was a hollow! She was an Espada. She ate souls! This is where she belonged!

"What… what shit are you talking now, Grimmjow." She breathed heavily. "I'm… an Espada. Sh-shut up, will you?"

Grimmjow laughed again and threw her to the ground. "No it's the truth. Why would I ever want to lie to you?" She decided to ignore that line. "You were only created for Aizen's amusement. You are nothing but a _toy_. A weak, pathetic toy. You are _not_ an Espada. You do not belong here Rain, got that? You shouldn't even be allowed to live."

In a way, Grimmjow was the school bully – only older, more mature and a _hell of a lot stronger_. Rain was the rebel, liking to stir up trouble, but with a certain caution and respect for others.

He lifted his sword and almost lazily, struck her through the chest, she screamed as it just barely misse her most vital organ. (But then again, she was already dead… wasn't she?) He pulled his sword roughly from her and wiped it on the sand, as if cleansing it from her filth. Rain bit her lips to keep from screaming again as he kicked her helpless form and walked away.

"This battle is over. I won." He said coolly. "Suppose I spare your life? You'll like that, won't you? The weakling Rain who favours her own life more than anyone else's on the battlefield." Grimmjow sneered. "Well, look at our pretty little Rain now: all beaten up and bloody. Stunning little devil, ain't she?" He smirked and strode arrogantly away, leaving her lying on the ground, dying, dying, dying. But not quite dead yet.

A supposedly fake Espada.

A pretender, lying motionless on the ground.

And, in the shadows, two bright green eyes watched her, ready to make a move.

…

**(A decade earlier)**

A body, bleeding profusely.

A young girl, lying motionless on the ground.

And, in the shadows, two bright green eyes watched, ready to make a move.

"What should we do with her?

"Why should we do anything? Why can't we just get out of this shit hole? Our mission is over, Ulquiorra. Let's just kill her and leave.

"This is a Kurosaki sibling, Grimmjow. In case you haven't already figured out, she will be very useful to Aizen-sama. Perfect for us – she has already nearly gotten herself killed. She's still alive. Let's take her back to Aizen-sama. I can guarantee you, we shall be greatly rewarded."

* * *

_Me + your reviews = happy happy happy!_

_Of course, some people may not want me to be happy and I fully respect that but... boo you._


	4. Chapter 3

_Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach._

_So this chapter will tell you why Karin was renamed. If there's anything wrong or something that doesn't quite make sense or **any little thing at all**, just tell me. _

_And to clear up any confusion, Karin isn't an Espada, or hollow or shinigami. In fact, she is actually a human. Sorry if I didn't make it clear enough, how she got injured and Ulquiorra kind of just 'took' her to Hueco Mundo. Yeah. Her soul was forcibly taken from her body. I assumed people would just assume that but yeah, my assumptions can be quite off the mark._

_So, Enjoy!_

* * *

**Take me to heaven: I'm yours**

_Chapter 3: Be my saviour, be my friend_

* * *

**(A decade earlier)**

_Brightly coloured florescent lights swirl and dissolve into each other. _

_The world is coloured._

_The world is beautiful. _

_The world is diffusing and assembling. _

_The world is disintegrating and solidifying. _

_The world is gleaming in an eye-scorching roar of colours. And then – _

_-and then the world is white._

Her midnight dark orbs reflect the blinding white as she exposes her eyes to reality. She's awakened and completely confused to her whereabouts. She sees a flash of green above her and her vision focuses to include Ulquiorra. She recognises him, she knows him. They had met once, when she was still a human. She helped heal him when he was injured. And if she probes hard enough she can possibly even call him a friend. Karin squints painfully and asks him one simple question.

"What are you doing here, Emeralds?"

He stiffens at the ridiculous nickname she had given him so long ago but tries to not let her see anything as petty as _emotion _glide across his face.

"Karin," he murmurs, his voice dripping sickly sweet with a poison beyond recognition. "Goodbye."

And then her beautifully white-washed world turns black.

…

Her once beautiful blue ocean eyes are dulled, paling to a dirty grey. She stares blankly at the scene before her, unseeing, uncaring. She has spent one freaking day in this shithole and it's enough to make her go crazy. But she has already learnt that 'crazy' is what you need to be to survive here.

"You are one of us." Aizen declares, dramatically introducing her with a swish of his arm. "As a privileged member of the Espada, you must be given a name if you do not already have one. Say, do you happen to have a name?" He is fake, she knows.

She has a name. It's Kurosaki Karin. Ulquiorra had told her. It's the only thing she knows about herself.

The rest is just… darkness.

Blackness as dark as heaven, twisting into oblivion.

For that is how she has been taught. That heaven is the true inferno; a place of torment, purgatory and suffering; a pandemonium of anguish; the home of fallen angels.

And everything that she remembered had been burnt into darkness and stewed into a pot to be eaten for breakfast.

"I don't have a name." She says boldly, coldly staring at him through humourless pale grey eyes. "Why don't you give me one?"

…

_"Your name is Kurosaki Karin." The green-eyed one tells her stoically. "That is the only thing I will tell you."_

_"And yours?" she jibes playfully._

_He pauses, hesitates for a millisecond._

_"Ulquiorra. Just call me Ulquiorra." He has passed the mark already._

_She frowns, considering this. "Okay, so Ulquiorra… what's your favourite ice-cream flavour?"_

_He sighs, knowing that he really, really shouldn't tell her but finding no restraint. "If you must know, it's mint."_

_"Mint? That's my favourite too! Oh my god, will you treat me to some ice cream? I mean, we **do **have the same favourite flavour and everything."_

_He scowls, finding her language extremely hard to understand. What in the name of Kami-sama did she speak, like, a modernized Japanese slang or something? "Don't push it."_

…

Aizen laughs and Ulquiorra glares. His green eyes are giving her a warning, silently screaming at her to shut the hell up already. She obeys because Ulquiorra's advice can be kind of useful sometimes.

"Rain." Aizen muses thoughtfully. "I like that name. You can be Rain."

Rain smiles tremendously. It's fake and she knows it. "Arigato, Aizen-sama." She said. "I will serve under you faithfully and loyally."

That is what Ulquiorra had told her to say. He had also told her to close her eyes and ignore the scorching pain as they carve the number 7 into the flat plane of her stomach.

She has always wondered how they did it. Then she saw them wielding a burning torch. Ah, now she sees. She shuts her eyes as the scorching fire pierces her skin and burns it, leaving a pitch-black mark in the shape of a 7.

…

**(Present)**

Hearts take time to heal.

It takes time to find the needle and thread you need to use and stitch up the hole that is left behind. It takes time to repair those cracks on the surface and fill up the emptiness inside.

And as Rain lay there, feeling the blood and life seeping out of her, she wondered if she really was meant to be part of this world. Was she really an Espada, like Aizen had always made out? Or was his honey sweet tone just another deceiving lie told behind a mask of shattered glass and broken promises?

Or maybe she really was _Kurosaki Karin_, like Ulquiorra had told her.

She closed her eyes and listened to the footsteps approaching nearby and felt the presence of someone new. She was too tired and too drained to open her eyes.

"Get up, trash."

"Ulquiorra," she breathed in relief.

She heard him sigh and with a shock, she felt his cool hands wrap around her waist as he lifted her up and carried her away. Disgust at herself ate up at her as she clutched onto him like a lifesaver. If he noticed her clinging onto him, he didn't react but kept on walking away. She took a deep breath.

"Where are we going?"

She felt his cool eyes bore into her and she buried her face deeper into his chest to avoid looking at them.

"We're going to get you fixed up." He replied tonelessly. But she could feel the stiffness in his arms and the edge to his voice. He did not want to be doing this.

"Why?" she asked him, pulling her head out of his chest to glare at him.

"Because you're bleeding to death, idiot. That's why."

"No, I meant… why are you helping me?"

He didn't reply but kept on walking. She vaguely wondered where they were heading as he walked further and further from the gleaming white buildings that made up Las Noches.

"Hold on tight."

With no further warning, he accelerated, running at an incredible speed that would leave Olympic sprinters spewing in envy. She held her breath and buried her face in his chest again to protect herself from the wind as it roared in her ears and scratched at her skin.

Then it all became silent again.

She opened her eyes and looked around them. They seemed to be in the middle of nowhere. The vast, sandy desert that stretched to the horizon seemed never-ending and for the first time, Rain felt fear creep into her body.

"What are you going to do to me?" She breathed, knowing that in her current state, she had no means of attack or defense.

Ulquiorra snorted. "I'm not going to rape you, if that's what you mean." He smirked. "Did you really get scared that I would?"

"No." She lied, scowling. "Of course not."

Scoffing, he let go of her with one hand and slowly clicked. Once. Twice. She watched wearily as his familiar skill of crossing between worlds took place once more.

"Urahara Shoten." He answered her unasked question. "To get you fixed up."

"Where's that? And why are you doing this for me?" The increasing darkness hid her inquiring face, and his deepening scowl.

"Because..." His weary eyes glanced upwards, dull green orbs reflecting the darkness of the sky. "We're friends, right?" He offered her a small smile.

…

**(9 years earlier)**

"How do you like being an Espada?" Ulquiorra asked, leaning against the wall in every form of interest.

Rain scrunched up her nose. "Its… boring."

He laughed, thin lips curving up into a smile. It brought her heart a sort of warmth to hear him laugh.

"We'll get assigned missions. Then it'll get better. Much better, trust me. Actually, that's probably why Aizen-sama keeps us locked up in this boring hell-hole."

"Why?"

"So that when we get released, we use up every ounce of energy we posses. Thus making us more hyper, bloodthirsty tyrants."

"You make us sound like monsters." She laughed.

He smiled again, watching her with a sort of affection.

"We are, kind of. We're made to kill and destroy. Sometimes it makes me envy those Shinigami. They're made to save us bad guys from the innocent. I wouldn't mind doing some saving and being a hero myself." He smirked, stretching.

Rain grinned. "So damn corny, Ulquiorra. You're getting soft."

She laughed as he snorted and screamed as he began chasing her around Las Noches.

Corny, cliché, childish, but somehow, _correct_.

…

"What's it like, serving under Aizen for so long. Do you not have another choice?"

Rain barrelled him with questions. She seemed to like doing that a lot.

"We have an alternative. If we are really determined to leave, then we are able to turn into Shinigami and join forces with our biggest rivals. But it's so challenging that few people have ever tried it. And for the rare ones who have actually attempted it, only one had come out alive."

"What's the process?" Rain asked, interest perked.

Ulquiorra sighed. "I'm not quite sure, I haven't tried it before."

Rain pursed her lips together, thinking. "Wanna try it together?"

It took just that small question. 4 words. Ulquiorra became furious.

"Are you fucking _crazy_, woman? I'm not ready to die at your idiotic expense. Go do it yourself." He spoke in a furious monotone, emerald eyes flaming in anger. Somehow, he managed to accent each word without raising his voice.

Rain recoiled, stung by his words. "It was a joke." She muttered darkly. "Don't go all psychopath on me."

Ulquiorra calmed a little, breathing quietly through his nose. "A joke, really?" He sighed.

"Yes." She shot back. "I would never sacrifice your life for my own. Surely you know that?"

His lips twitched in amusement this time and he relaxed. "I do now."

"Good." She said firmly. "That's how it will always be, deal?"

"…Deal."

* * *

_As usual, reviews are much much appreciated. _

_Make me happy, will you? The world needs more happy people. :)_


	5. Chapter 4

_Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach._

_Happy 26th of February, everyone!_

_Yeah, I know it's not a celebrated day but guess what? It's the 26th of February!_

_And the 26th of February only comes once every year. :P_

_So uh, wanna get on with the story?_

_Enjoy!_

* * *

**Take me to heaven: I'm yours**

_Chapter 4: When they tell you no, tell yourself yes._

* * *

**(Present)**

"Good afternoon Ulquiorra-san. How may I help you today?"

The stoic man dumped the young girl in his arms on the ground at the shopkeeper's feet.

"Fix her." He said tonelessly. "Make sure she doesn't die."

_(And that is a matter of choice)_

Urahara Kisuke leaned over her in curiosity and stared down at her face. His bright hat completely hid his face as recognition, shock and bewilderment overcame him. He composed himself and turned to face the so-called 'enemy of Shinigami'.

He's a friend. Or not a friend. A sort of customer. And a distant acquaintance.

"This Espada friend of yours, I have no reason to heal her. She hasn't done anything for me now, has she?"

Maybe he could, maybe he couldn't. Maybe he should, maybe he shouldn't. Maybe he would, maybe he wouldn't. But the only thing certain is that in the very end, it's not up to him to decide. Maybe, he should just leave it up to fate.

"Do you not recognise her?" Ulquiorra said in a monotone. "This is Kurosaki Karin. A former younger sibling of Kurosaki Ichigo. Have you still no reason to heal her?"

_(I don't... understand)_

Urahara's eyes darkened. "I see." He replied. "Leave her to me, Ulquiorra-san. But may I ask-"

"No." Ulquiorra cut him off. "You may not ask anything. Just heal her and return her to me. Do not breathe a word about this exchange to anyone."

"Not even-"

"Most definitely not Kurosaki Ichigo."

_(And that, most certainly, is a matter of choice)_

"Ah. I see." Urahara smiled tremendously at the Espada. "Goodbye, Ulquiorra-san. I'm happy to be of service."

Ulquiorra nodded and disappeared. As soon as he left, Urahara picked up the phone and dialled number one on his speed dial.

…

_Ring! Ring!_

_Call connected._

…

"Hello?"

"HELLO YORUICHI? I THINK YOU SHOULD COME AND SEE THIS. HURRY, THOUGH. GOODBYE!"

"What? Kisuke, why are you-"

…

_Beep!_

_Call disconnected._

…

Yoruichi stared at her phone in disbelief. "What's that idiot up to now? And why was he shouting?"

…

**(8 years earlier)**

_Blue._

_No._

_Green._

_No._

_Purple...?_

_No._

_I'll tell you what it is._

_It's in between._

_The prettiest shade of teal._

_..._

"Where's that pretty necklace from?"

Rain turned in surprise to meet Grimmjow's face. She scowled when she saw him. Grimmjow wasn't too pleasant for company.

"This? I'm not sure. I had it on when I came here. Why?"

Grimmjow frowned. "Ah, shit. So it wasn't Ulquiorra?"

Now it was her turn to frown. "No. Why?"

He lunged and held her head firmly between his palms. They were sweaty and smelt badly. Rain scrunched her nose up and tried to pull his hands away.

"Because, idiot." he snarled, "You just made me lose my bet."

Rain snorted. "You stupid men bet on stupid things. Who was the other person?"

Grimmjow released her head and turned away, no longer interested in the conversation. "Ulquiorra. Who else?"

"Right. I bet it wasn't Ulquiorra."

Grimmjow swore. "Damn, you win. So what do you want for that?"

She grinned widely. A chance of peace. "For you to leave me alone."

It was Grimmjow's turn to snort now. "I will try." He promised. "Not saying that it'll work, though."

"Yeah. So who was it?"

"Who was what?"

"Who'd you make the bet with?"

Grimmjow waved his hand dismissively. "Just Ichimaru. Nobody important."

…

Water droplets fell like tears. Shimmying down from the surprisingly cloudless sky. The seventh Espada looked on in amazement as she felt the sparkling liquid flood her skin and drench her clothes.

It was a miracle; water from the sky? It must be a trick.

_Heavenly water._ She decided. _This is heavenly water._

Holding her hand out up into the air, she gathered a handful of water and swallowed it, letting the cool liquid flow gently over her tongue and down her throat.

_It even __**tastes **__heavenly._

"Rain."

"Huh?" She turned around to find Grimmjow staring at the scene before him in bewilderment. "What do you want, Grimmjow?"

He turned his surprised gaze to her. "I wasn't talking to _you, _idiot." He said. "I was talking about this." He gestured towards the rain flowing down.

"Well, what is it?" She asked.

He smirked. "Stupid girl. It's rain."

She frowned. "Yes, yes I know I'm Rain. _You're_ the stupid one. I was asking you what this _watery_ thing is."

Grimmjow sniggered in amusement. "It's called rain. It usually falls from clouds."

Rain blinked. "Clouds?"

"I don't know. You ask too many questions. It's annoying."

Rain huffed and crossed her arms. But she couldn't get too angry.

_I'm named after something so __**heavenly**__._

"We haven't had rain in Hueco Mundo for at least a century. It really is such a surprise."

She stood there stiffly, feeling like a bit of an idiot. Deep grey eyes tightened as cerulean ones grinned.

"Oh, I know." Grimmjow snickered. "You're feeling like an idiot now, aren't you?"

"No!" she retorted back. "You should be the one feeling like an idiot here, going all soft at the sight of some _stupid peeing sky_."

_Sorry, rain._

Grimmjow laughed, and the sound of it mocked her very existence. "You're just jealous that you've never seen it before."

Rain scoffed and turned back to the stunning sight. The sky boasted a sparkling grey blue, and a billion drops of tears.

_Blue._

_No._

_Green._

_No._

_Purple...?_

_No._

_I'll tell you what it is._

_It's in between._

_The prettiest shade of teal._

…

**(Present)**

"What did you want, Kisuke?" Arms crossed. Lips frowning. Eyes flailing everywhere in the room but at him. "I was busy."

"NOTHING YOU COULD BE DOING COULD BE MORE IMPORTANT THAN THIS." Eyes crossed. Lips frowning. Arms flailing everywhere in the room but at her. "COME INTO THIS ROOM, YORUICHI."

"Stop screaming, Kisuke! I'm not deaf, you know."

He led her into a small room in the back of the store and watched proudly as her eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. The sight of the young dark-haired Espada lying motionless on the sick bed with Tessai hovering protectively over her proved to be too much for the purple haired Goddess of Flash. Her patience popped like a bubble.

_(The remains fell to the ground)_

"WHAT ON EARTH IS SHE DOING HERE? WHO IN THE WORLD DOES SHE THINK SHE IS? WHY THE HELL ARE YOU HELPING HER?" Yoruichi turned her blazing eyes to Kisuke's own amused ones. "AND FOR GOD'S SAKE WHO IS SHE?"

Kisuke brought own his fan from seemingly nowhere at all and began fanning himself. He drew his head back slightly until his eyes were completely shadowed by his striped hat.

"NOW YORUICHI," He began, comically shouting with an all-knowing finger stuck up pointlessly in the air. "YOU KNOW THIS YOUNG LADY. HER VERY PRESENCE SHOULD BE MAKING YOUR VERY HEART SOAR, YOUR BRAIN ECSTATIC, AND YOUR-"

***POW***

Urahara fell dramatically with a loud crash as he lay on the ground, blood streaming out of his nose.

Yoruichi glared at him. "So, who is she?" She prompted him.

From the ground, Urahara stuck out an arm with a tape clutched in his hand that he had pulled out from behind him.

"Oh for god's sake." Yoruichi huffed at his stupid antics. She grabbed the tape, stuck it into the tape recorder and pressed play.

...

"_Good afternoon Ulquiorra-san. How may I help you today?"_

"_Fix her. Make sure she doesn't die."_

Silence…

"_This Espada friend of yours, I have no reason to heal her. She hasn't done anything for me now, has she?"_

"_Do you not recognise her? This is Kurosaki Karin. A former younger sibling of Kurosaki Ichigo. Have you still no reason to heal her?"_

Silence…

"_I see. Leave her to me, Ulquiorra-san. But may I ask-"_

"_No. You may not ask anything. Just heal her and return her to me. Do not say a word about this exchange to anyone."_

"_Not even-"_

"_Most definitely not Kurosaki Ichigo."_

"_Ah. I see. Goodbye, Ulquiorra-san. I'm happy to be of service."_

Silence…

"_HELLO YORUICHI? I THINK YOU SHOULD COME AND SEE-"_

_..._

"Humph." She stopped it before it could continue. "Kurosaki Karin, huh. What's she doing here?"

"AS AN ESPADA, QUITE CLEARLY."

Yoruichi turned to him in irritation. "Will you stop yelling?"

"I'M SORRY, YORUICHI. BUT THIS IS THE ONLY WAY I'M ALLOWED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT KUROSAKI KARIN."

"…"

"DID YOU NOT HEAR THE ESPADA, YORUICHI? HE TOLD ME NOT TO SAY A WORD ABOUT IT TO ANYONE."

"And so you decided to yell, instead of say?" She guessed, amused.

Urahara beamed. "PRECISELY."

…

**(7 years earlier)**

_-a breath, now come the words-_

_So, 3 years, huh? Funny how I never really noticed you before._

_I could say the exact same thing to you._

…

"How many times have I told you not to let the paint drip onto the floor? It makes it look messy that way."

"But Rain-chan! It looks so colourful!"

Rain lifted an incredulous eyebrow. "Do what you want, as long as it stay on _your_ side of the room."

The busty older woman winked. "But that would be no fun, then. Isn't that right, Rain-chan?"

…

_-a grin, tired but lasting-_

_You seem different to the rest, kid. I reckon we can actually become friends._

_You reckon? _

…

Rain froze.

"Oh god. Tell me you didn't."

"Oh, but I did!"

Rain winced, feeling sorry for her once beautifully decorated wall of blue. "Should I turn around?"

The older woman laughed. "You won't be happy with the results, Rain-chan."

"The paint you threw… it was pink, right?"

"Nothing more, nothing less."

She spun slowly around on her heels, ready to survey the damage.

The events that followed weren't pretty.

…

_-a nose, scrunched up playfully- _

_Yeah._

_I reckon I can squeeze you into my schedule._

…

"That's it! I'm chucking blue paint on your pink wall!"

"Then I'm chucking green paint on your blue and pink one!"

"It's only pink because you made it pink!"

***SPLAT***

"And now it's green too!"

***SPLAT***

"Ha! Now your pink one is blue, too!"

…

_-an introduction, the beginning of an everlasting friendship-_

_7__th__ Espada, Rain. I have no last name. You?_

_9__th__ Espada, Matsumoto Rangiku. Nice to meet you._

* * *

_Oh, wow. Surprise, surprise, it's Matsumoto._

_So, review! Reviews make the world go round!_


	6. Chapter 5

_Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach_

_Mmm... I don't have much to say here except a thank you to all my reviewers because you guys are just some lovely people. Of course readers are also appreciated... just not as much. :)_

_Enjoy!_

* * *

**Take me to heaven: I'm yours**

_Chapter 5: That place in your dreams_

* * *

_Bright. So bright, so bright._

_Can't open… eyes._

_Fingers? Check, I think I can feel them. _

_Come on. Move, will you?_

_Toes? Check._

_Ok. Just. Open. Eyes!_

…

"Kisuke, I think she waking!"

"WE'LL SEE. LET'S JUST WAIT A LITTLE LONGER."

…

_Shut up, will you? You're killing my head. _

_No. Not the blackness again. Make it go away!_

_What's that strange breathing noise? It's definitely not me._

_Thank god, I think I can open my eyes now…_

…

Two. Huge. Eyes.

"ARGGGGGGGHHHH! WHO ARE YOU? WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN MY BED?" Rain screamed.

_(Shush. Not so loud.)_

Flustered, Tessai jumped out and scratched his head. "My apologies, medical reasons only. Medical reasons _only._"

Rain raised her head in bewilderment and looked around her. Her eyes narrowed in suspicion as no familiar faces loomed out to her. "Who are you people, and why am I here?" She breathed.

_(Lead me to my comfort zone)_

"This is the Urahara Shoten, Espada. I trust that you've heard of it before?"

The voice was distinctively feminine. Sharp and suspicious. Rain blinked a couple of times and frowned. Almost... cat-like? How strange.

"Ura… Urahara Shoten?"

…

"_What are you going to do to me?" _

"_I'm not going to rape you, if that's what you mean. Did you really get scared that I would?" _

"_No. Of course not."_

Silence…

"_Urahara Shoten." He answered her unasked question. "To get you fixed up."_

"_Where's that? And why are you doing this for me?" _

"_Because…" The hint of a lovely smile. "We're friends, right?"_

…

"Where's Ulquiorra?" Rain began panicking. "You didn't do anything to him, did you?"

"…"

"**Did you**?"

Stepping delicately out of the shadows, the woman laughed and walked up to her bed. As she stepped into the light, her features shone brightly and Rain realised with shock just how beautiful she was. She had dark skin and long, flowing purple hair. She had large, piercing golden eyes that had the slyness equivalent to a prowling cat and a wide, heavy smirk. "We didn't do anything to him. However, we may have to do something about you."

"…"

"Does the name 'Kurosaki Karin' mean anything to you?" She elongated the syllables, drawing out each word with perfect precision.

A mixture of surprise and shock flitted across her face. Kurosaki Karin? How did this stranger know? Yet Ulquiorra had trusted this place enough to send her to it, he must know these people, enough to know that they wouldn't try to hurt her. Rain turned to the other man, the one who had not spoken at all. He wore a green striped hat and held a cane, observing the situation with quiet heaviness. His expressionless face held neither information nor sympathy.

"I don't know what you're talking about." She snarled and leapt from the bed. Her only thought was to get out of the Urahara Shoten, whose occupants were creeping her out to no ends.

Her unsteady legs led her swiftly out the shop and into the unfamiliar streets of a place she never even knew existed. Where the hell was she, anyway? Was this still Hueco Mundo? Looking around, Rain gave a screech, her key signature call. If he heard it, Ulquiorra would come without a moments hesitation. That was the kind of friend he was. The people walking casually around didn't pay her a second glance. This surprised her until she realised that they didn't even notice her existence, let alone her voice.

_Humans!_

She was in the _Human World_?

"Ulquiorra!" She shrieked frantically into the sky.

"Would you like some assistance looking for him?" An unfamiliar male voice penetrated her shouting. It was the other man, the strange one with the hat and the cane.

"Get away from me!" She screamed at him, leaping back to maintain a safe distance. They eyed each other off for a moment, he smiled and tipped his hat back, exposing his eyes. Then, in an edgy, more cautious tone, she spoke. "At least, tell me who you are, and what you want from me."

He looked... offended.

"Why, I am merely the smart, sexy shopkeeper of the Urahara Shoten." He said as if she _of course_ knew who he was. "And I don't want anything. Maybe just a thank you, then you can be on your own merry way!"

It felt so _weird_. She had the instinct to fight, to kill him. But she knew that he was the one who had healed her after her bloody fight with Grimmjow. This put her in his debt and she hated being in anyone's debt.

"You don't want… anything?" She asked suspiciously.

He sighed and rubbed his hands together as if collecting warmth, though the air was not cold.

"Well, there _are _plenty of things that I want. A new TV, for example. Mine is quite old and needs a bit of fixing. I also want a new tea set. Almost all my cups are broken, but I blame Yoruichi for that one. She drinks so fast her cups slip from her hands so easily. But from you? No, no there's nothing that you need to repay me for." He smiled almost kindly at her.

"I see." Rain murmured. _So different, so __**strange**__. "_Arigatou, shopkeeper-san. But there is one more thing I need to ask of you."

"And what would that be?"

"To take me back to Hueco Mundo."

"No problems, Kurosaki-chan! I can manage that!"

"Don't call me that." Rain muttered as she followed him back into the shop. "It's not my name."

…

**(6 years earlier)**

_Say what you're thinking._

_Tell me about your dreams._

_Scream out your aspirations._

_Plan your evil schemes._

...

"MATSUMOTO!"

Matsumoto turned around with a cheesy smile on her face. "Yes, Rain-chan?"

"I believe you've made her happy by your presense." Ulquiorra told her, a little amused.

"Don't I always?" Matsumoto laughed, her white dress ripping as her stomach heaved. She stopped abruptly. "Oh dear." She sighed. "Looks like I've ripped it again. I really need a differently styled uniform. Ulquiorra, are you _sure_ we cant have a more loose outfit?"

"All clothes must be pure white and as body fitting as possible. Aizen's orders." Rain said, coming up behind them. "I reckon it's pretty stupid though."

"So do I." Matsumoto agreed. She turned back to the other Espada. "Ulquiorra. Reckon you could fix this dress for me? To be honest, you're better with a sewing machine than anybody else out there."

Rain snorted but tried her best to hide it. Ulquiorra glared at them both. "Hand over the dress." He said, rather reluctantly.

"Yay! I knew I could depend on you! Thanks a lot, Ulquiorra! Oh and make sure you make it a bit bigger. It's really tight. Especially around the waist and chest." Matsumoto pulled the dress off over her head and handed it over to Ulquiorra, not feeling the least bit self-conscious. She knew Ulquiorra didn't care either. "Be quick though. I don't really want to walk around like this all day. Not when Grimmjow's still around."

"He knows, he knows!" Rain said impatiently. "Come on, Matsumoto. There's this game called soccer that I just learnt about. I wanna try it with you."

"Aww, Rain-chan. Not _another _ball game, is it? You know I _can't_ play ball games!"

"I know but you'll like this one! Promise!"

"Aww, fine."

"Yes!"

…

**(Present)**

"So how did you like Urahara Kisuke?"

"Oh, so that was his name."

Ulquiorra smirked. "He's a good man, I'll tell you that."

Rain snorted. "He seems wonderful when you wake up in an unknown bed in an unknown room with an unknown stranger leaning over you and an unknown woman hidden in the corner and him just standing there watching. Yeah, he's great."

"Just a bad first impression." He shrugged it off indifferently.

"So how do you know him?"

"He's… helped me in situations before."

"Situations? What situations?" she asked, interest perked.

"That's enough questions." Ulquiorra growled. "And make sure you never tell Aizen."

"Um, sure."

"Never tell Aizen what?"

Rain turned around. "Matsumoto!" She beamed. "What's up?"

Matsumoto frowned. "Where've you been? You disappeared for days!"

Rain choked and turned to Ulquiorra. "That long?"

He nodded and turned to Matsumoto. "Rain was knocked up badly and was spending her days recovering."

Rain nodded slowly. "Is something wrong, Matsumoto?"

She looked tired, not like her usual jumpy self. Something in her seemed defeated. Like somebody had snuffed out her inner candle. Rain quickly became concerned.

"No, no. I'm fine. Are you alright now, Rain-chan?"

"Yeah. I'm fully pumped."

"That's… that's nice." She replied absently, giving Rain a twitch of her lips that couldn't be counted as a smile. Rain beamed back, tying to keep the atmosphere light and happy.

The small remains of her hollow mask sat droopily on her forehead as Matsumoto tried to keep a light conversation going.

_So… what did you do these past few days, Matsumoto?_

_Umm, nothing really. A bit here, a bit there. I didn't really do anything._

_Oh, okay. That's… nice._

_Mmm, yeah…_

…

That night, Matsumoto cried herself to sleep.

She was not fine.

_(Grimmjow Jeagerjaques. That bastard of an Espada.)_

…

Several hours later, the blue haired 6th Espada crept into Matsumoto's room. She was sleeping quietly at the very far end of her bed.

_Shame… I really quite liked her._

_Oh well, what must be done shall be done._

She flinched in her sleep as he drew near. She might've been awake; she might've been sleeping. To this day, nobody knows. He finished her and turned his back to her.

"Sorry." He whispered. "Aizen's orders."

The now lifeless body of the former 9th Espada slumped in defeat. But if Grimmjow had peered a little closer at her sleeping face, he might've seen the watery tear tracks running down her face.

But it didn't matter anymore. Her tears would not fall once again. At least, not in this form.

Grimmjow held the shattered remains of her mask and threw them unceremoniously out the window. He had crushed her Espada powers and converted her to a mere soul once more, under Aizen's orders of course.

He held her lifeless form and ran, as if his life depended on it.

He ran, he ran, he ran.

She would re-live again, he was sure. But when she did, he wouldn't be around to see it.

But of course, it was all under Aizen's orders.

…

"Aizen-sama."

A rough brown hand made its way over to the pale one, slithering over folds on clothing until it finally reached it destination and clasped their fingers together.

"What is it, Gin?"

"Ah, Aizen-sama, why are ya' sending her away? Ran-chan I mean."

A soft blow down the neck.

"Why not?"

"She's a… strong Espada. She's useful."

"Ah, my dear Gin." He smiled coyly. "Surely I'm not the only one who gets bored here."

An unexpected little giggle.

"Let's start, Aizen-sama."

…

**(Soul Society)**

Bright eyes flickered as they opened, drawing in the light. A busty, auburn haired woman opened her eyes to find herself lying on a dusty, well-ridden path. She coughed up the dust from her throat and sat up. She recalled nothing except a name. How, she did not know.

_Matsumoto Rangiku._

_..._

_Say what you're thinking._

_Tell me about your dreams._

_Scream out your aspirations._

_Plan your evil schemes._

_

* * *

_

Did you like that bit of poetry there? Guess what? I wrote it myself! Yay!

So um... review?


	7. Chapter 6

__

_Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. _

_A tip to any author currently writing any stories: update!_

(Don't blame me for hypocrisy, alright? :) I'm trying.)

_Enjoy!_

_

* * *

_

**Take me to heaven: I'm yours**

_Chapter 6: Will you be my angel?_

**

* * *

**

**(Present)**

_I remember I once owned an angel. _

_I think I was… 10? Or… 20? Same difference, it doesn't matter._

_He, yes it was a boy, he was beautiful. He was the most precious thing I ever had. _

_I loved him to death. _

_I fucking loved him to death._

…

_Play with me Toush, I'm lonely._

…

_Sing for me Toush, I want to hear your voice._

…

_Don't leave me Toush, I need you._

…

_I need you Toush. Will you be my angel?_

_Will you be my angel?_

…

When Rain woke, she found her face strangely wet. Her head hurt, throbbing with pain that she never even knew was there.

"Ulquiorra?" she croaked, wanting reassurance and knowing he would give her some. He appeared in a flash, holding her so she could break down beside him. He didn't speak but let her clutch onto him in an attempt to regain her dignity. She didn't mind him seeing her like this.

Something was missing inside of her. A bond, broken maybe. Something had cracked and her resolve wavered. She sniffed, drawing her lips back into her mouth. Old habits die hard.

"Where's Matsumoto?" she asked him, dreading the answer. Her hand was shaking as she grasped his arm. "Where's Matsumoto?"

It took him a while to reply. She was beginning to think he was speech-impaired.

He took a breath, stiffened and released the breath.

He pursed his lips together, refusing to tell her.

He gave up and breathed the word out without taking a single breath.

"Gone."

Rain shut her eyes together, not wanting to know what had happened.

"She left." Ulquiorra breathed, taking her silence as a sign for him to continue. "She went to Soul Society."

Take a deep breath, Rain.

Breathe out.

Now breathe in, breathe out.

Breathe in, breathe out.

"The details are, as yet, unknown." Ulquiorra went on. "Nobody knows why she—"

"She left because of you, Rain." The sharp voice cut through the atmosphere like a knife through butter. Rain drew in a quick intake of breath and began coughing. Her eyes were large and wide, frozen in horror.

She heard Ulquiorra's voice above her, angrily defending her. "What do you mean, because of Rain? Ichimaru, I think you should go and sort your priorities out."

"Why I think that there will be no need for that, my dear Espada."

Another voice. She felt Ulquiorra stiffen beside her and her heart sunk as she realised whom it belonged to.

"Aizen-sama." Ulquiorra said, out of shock and to warn Rain who it was. Rain hid her face in Ulquiorra's chest to avoid looking at him, feeling like a coward and not wanting to do anything about it.

"It's true." She heard a rustle of material as his silky voice penetrated her ears. She shut her eyes tighter. "It seems as though Matsumoto has left us, for Soul Society. She wanted nothing to do with you, Rain. She wanted to completely eradicate memories of you, did you know? She has even written a note for you, Rain. Want to see?"

Rain clutched Ulquiorra tighter and shook her head stubbornly, feeling tears escape her eyes. Matsumoto wouldn't betray her. She would never! Blind as she was, with her eyes shut as tight as they could possibly go, Rain felt and saw Aizen's cruel smile.

"Very well." He replied, no disappointment laced within his words. "I will leave the note here, on the table where you may read it later, alone, if you wish so."

She heard another rustle of material as he turned to leave. Was Gin there still?

"Ja ne, Rain-chan." She felt Ichimaru's chilling smile as he grinned and followed Aizen out the door.

It was after they left that Rain relaxed and started breaking down in Ulquiorra's arms. She screamed and sobbed and cried tears of hurt, tears of betrayal. Ulquiorra looked on in bewilderment, as if he was trying to convince himself that it wasn't true. His hand stroked her hair absentmindedly but it felt somewhat comforting. She eased her sobs after a while and began to hiccup softly.

"Ulquiorra."

"…What is it?"

"She didn't. She didn't leave us."

He didn't reply but she knew without a doubt that he didn't believe her.

"What did I do to make her so angry at me!" Rain glared furiously at him. It was a statement, not a question. She couldn't believe he doubted her. He didn't reply. "That's right!" she shouted. "I didn't do _anything_ to make her pissed." When he still didn't reply, she sighed. "Right, give me the letter."

He handed it to her silently. Her emotional roller coasters really amazed him sometimes. She seemed to be frightened one moment, then furious the next. Screaming one moment, then calm the next. She took the letter and opened it.

Her eyes widened as she scanned the paper. It took almost all of her self-control to keep her temper under control. It didn't work.

"Matsumoto! That… _bitch_!"

Rain left the room in a huff, furiously kicking everything in sight. She was currently what Gin liked to call 'Rain in a Storm Cloud' and what Grimmjow liked to call in her 'PMS: Psychotic Mental State'.

She ran over to her little secluded spot on the very highest point of Las Noches. It was her quiet place; nobody else knew of it except for Matsumoto, in whom she had trusted with her deepest, darkest secrets.

She didn't believe that Matsumoto had left them. She would not, could not, believe it. Matsumoto had been her best friend for 7 long years, Rain knew her well enough to know that she wouldn't leave them.

…

_Dear Rain,_

_First of all, I'd like to tell you how much I never loved you. You were never my best friend. I never loved you the way you loved me. But because I know that you knew me well enough, and that I was your best friend, I'm sure you'd understand when I tell you that I hate you._

_I hate you, I hate you, and I hate you._

_Right now, I'm on an emotional roller coaster. The word 'hate' is comprised of 4 separate letters; 'h', 'a', 't', and 'e'. Each one symbolises a different emotion I'm feeling right now. Well, there's H: How did I ever want to be friends with you? A: Actually, I was probably drunk when I suggested if we should be friends. T: To hell with you, I don't want to see you ever again. E: Every memory we've had together will undoubtedly be erased from my mind. _

_I'm pretty sure that once you know this, you will understand. _

_Haha, I bet you don't want to be my friend anymore, do you?_

_Well, just to tell you, every secret that you've ever told me, every embarrassing story; I've told them all to Grimmjow. Man, we laughed so hard over your stupidness and gullibility._

_By the time you read this letter, I'm pretty sure I'll be in Soul Society. Don't ask me how I can completely gain shinigami powers (well, you can't ask anyway, I'm too far away, haha) because I have my ways. And I know people._

_Me? I'm a social butterfly. But I know for a fact that you, you have no friends. Except for Ulquiorra, and me, that is. But now you only have Ulquiorra. And make you sure grab hold of him real tight, cause he might just slip away…_

_Just saying! _

_That's all._

_Matsumoto Rangiku. _

…

The letter, it was so fake. It couldn't possibly have been Matsumoto who wrote it. Rain opened it up and glared at it once more, and then she scrunched it up and threw it over Las Noches.

Then she screamed. She screamed in fury and anger and longing and hurt and wishing and yearning.

Ulquiorra appeared before her once more and she glanced at his face; pale and emotionless, cold and distant.

"How did you find me?"

Why didn't he look upset, or unhappy? Didn't he understand that Matsumoto was the closest thing to a friend she had ever had? Well, besides him, of course.

"I heard you. You scream… loud."

His voice held amusement and… regret?

"Why aren't you sad!" She screamed at him. "She's… she's disappeared and you're not even _sad_!"

He didn't say anything but pulled out a crumpled sheet of paper. Rain recognised it as the letter she had thrown. Ulquiorra smoothed out the creases and showed it to her. "It's got circular marks." He told her unnecessarily.

"So?"

He looked at her in exasperation. "They're _teardrop_ markings." He said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "She was crying as she wrote this."

Karin took the letter slowly and traced a finger over each one of the circular markings. "She was crying." She whispered hoarsely. "Was she really crying?"

"I believe so." Ulquiorra replied, talking a little softer than usual.

Rain gave him a soft smile. "So… she hasn't really forgotten me at all. It's all just a prank, right?"

"Right." He said. Funny how his lies seemed almost believable now.

Rain beamed at him. "Man, I'm so glad."

Ulquiorra nodded. "I also believe we have a meeting in a minute."

Rain looked up from the letter in surprise. "Another one?" She asked. "We just had one a couple of days ago."

"Aizen-sama says this one is important."

"That's what he says each time." Rain grumbled as she got up. "Right, let's go. Don't want to be late for _Aizen's_ little meeting, do we?" She smirked.

"Rain, you know you're really not supposed to-"

"Oh, lighten up, Ulquiorra. Don't be so serious all the time. It's not good for your health."

Ulquiorra snorted. "My health. Right."

"Let's go!" She said, holding out one arm for him to pull her up. "Boring meeting time! Oh, I just can't want!"

She had always known exactly what to say to put a smile upon his face. He smiled.

* * *

_Review review review review review!_

_Very appreciated. Very very appreciated. _

_In fact, so appreciated that if you review, I'll eat an icypole in honour of your review. Hehe. Yum._


	8. Chapter 7

_Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach._

_I forgot to tell you, from chapter 6 onwards, there won't be any more switching between times. The story will now be fully focused on the present._

_Oh and the little passage just below? To clear up any uncertainties or confusions, it's to be read line to line. For instance, the left bit, then the right bit, then the left bit, thffen the right bit and so on. Umm, they're kinda like two separate passages but if you read it properly, you'll see that they actually kinda link together in a way. Peer closely._

_And if none of that seems to make any sense at all, just ignore everything I said. I'm probably just being overcautious again. :)_

_Enjoy!_

* * *

**Take me to heaven: I'm yours**

_Chapter 7: When worlds collide_

* * *

_Let me tell you_

"Ulquiorra."

_An important recipe_

"What is it?"

_It's complicated_

"That Urahara guy? He doesn't seem like an Espada to me. And… and his shop is located in the human world. How-"

_But we all know it:_

"He's helped me out before."

_Confusion,_

"I never noticed you-"

_Made for ignorant people_

"You weren't created yet."

_Understanding,_

"…Ah. I see. Tell me more."

_It dawns upon her pretty face_

"There was… this… human girl. We…became friends, kind of."

_Teasing,_

"Hahaha! Ulquiorra fell in love with a human girl! Tell me, was she pretty?"

_It makes him blush a crimson red_

"She was… she… looked a lot like you. And no, I did not fall in _love _with her. That's just stupid."

_Thoughtfulness,_

"Looked a lot like me, huh?"

_He's smart and (hopefully) educated_

"Well, she… she helped me when I was dying. Even though she wasn't supposed to."

_Bravery_

"Why not?"

_It takes courage to admit defeat_

"Her brother was… the one who had injured me… in the first place."

_A little annoyance_

"Okay, okay. Get to the point, Ulquiorra."

_She says it's good for his health_

"Well, the girl took me to Urahara Shoten to heal me. That's all."

_A hell of a lot of trust_

"Okay… That Urahara guy, are you sure he's not a… _shinigami_? Because… because he looked an awful lot like one."

_Strung together on a single string_

"He… he is."

_And then it is complete_

"_What?"_

_Mixed and matched_

"He's… he's a good guy, or bad guy, in our case, but you get the point."

_To make best friends_

…

"Well, now that everybody seems to be here, let us begin the meeting." Aizen smiled proudly at all of them; they were his children, his soldiers, his pawns to the largest chess game ever played. "I have some important news for all of you."

"Don't you always?" Grimmjow retorted rudely.

"Well, yes." Aizen admitted. "Have some tea, Grimmjow." He poured the tea smoothly into the small cup and passed it to Grimmjow, smiling. Aizen looked around the room for a minute until he began to talk once more.

"This may come as a surprise to you all," he began pleasantly, "but we will be ambushing Soul Society soon."

"Why?" Rain asked, shocked. Soul Society had never done anything to them...

"The real question is why not, my dear Rain? It never hurts to gain a little power does it?"

This didn't really seem to make much sense to Rain, but then again, not many things seemed to make sense anymore.

"But what if-"

"What if what?"

_What if we come across Matsumoto?_

But Rain kept her mouth shut, her brain taking charge this time. Maybe if she saw Matsumoto, they could escape together... quietly... Aizen would never know. Of course, Ulquiorra had to come too...

"You don't really have any objections, do you? It'll be your first fight in a long time. I expect you all to be very excited." He almost seemed to pout, his beautiful full lips pushing for attention. It was distracting her from her thoughts. She glared at him, trying her hardest to resist against his overwhelming scent. It was a stupid perfume, she knew. Made by Aizen himself so that people around him will willingly bend to his will, and his will alone. Beside him, Ichimaru Gin gave an uncharacteristic little giggle.

A hint of amusement. A finger that twirled and twirled through the curliest lock of brunette hair.

"Hai, Aizen-sama." A chorus of monotonic voices. They were probably all used to the prospect of ambushing Soul Society. Even Ulquiorra. Now that was a little unfair, wasn't it?

"I am a fair person." The alleged king declared with a wide smile, showing all his perfect white teeth. "I like to make sure that all my dear Espadas are satisfied with the arrangements before continuing. "Rain?"

She stared at him in disbelief. As if Aizen had given her an option. He wasn't a bad person though. Not really. He _had_ been nice to her and supported her and fed her and whatever else he had done for her. Maybe she owed him.

"Hai, Aizen-sama."

Crap, now the smell was getting to her again.

_Breathe easy, Rain. Don't get too caught up._

"Good. Now for the opponents. Well, I'm sure the 4th division will be quite hopeless to fight with. We'll start with 2nd division, Soi Fon. Would anyone like to make a claim? No? Fine. Starrk, 2nd division is yours."

"Hai."

"3rd division, no captain, Izuru Kira?"

"Eh, I bags tha' one, Aizen. Always nice ta' catch up with a former workmate."

A sadistic grin edged its way onto the face of the sly fox. Only his former taicho could've noticed the subtlest difference between this and his previous ones.

"Alright. 5th division, no captain, Hinamori Momo?"

"Your ex-girlfriend, Aizen-sama?" Grimmjow wolf-whistled. Well. As old-fashioned as Aizen was, some modern antics were far too amusing to let bypass. Aizen chuckled.

"She was far too clingy for her own good." He brushed off. "So, no claims?"

"Hai, I will, Aizen-sama." Rain spoke up. She had heard about the girl. The one with the pretty face and heart breaking smile. The one who had grown far too attached to Aizen-sama to be considered healthy. The one who had nearly been crushed by his betrayal. She had listened to this story many times. It made her laugh. They all laughed at her gullibility and naivety. Her weaknesses and stupidity.

"Rain?" Aizen would have laughed had he not wanted to keep up his perfect reputation. "My deepest apologies but I already have a division saved for you. Harribel, you will take that division."

Already a division for her? What the hell did that mean?

"6th division, Kuchiki Byakuya? No? Grimmjow, I'm leaving it up to you then. 7th division, Sajin Komamura."

And the list went on, until Rain was feeling completely left out. She fidgeted uncomfortably in her seat. She had never been one to sit still for long. Most of the other Espadas were leaning on the table sleeping or just resting. He finally finished and turned to the 7th Espada.

"Rain?" His silky voice drew down to a murmur. "I'm giving you the best division out of all of them."

She sat still for once, captivated by his perfect voice. Entranced by his scent. He gave her a dazzling smile and leaned towards her.

"10th." He said clearly with no hint of his usual sharpness. "Kill them all."

Her eyes gave the tiniest hint of a sparkle. She was an Espada, for god's sake! She would do anything for this man.

"Alright." She smirked, feeling her old, not-so-emotionally-unstable self drift through. In truth, she hadn't known what she was turning into. A blubbering, crying, screaming ghost of herself. No. She was Rain, the warrior. Rain, the strong one. Rain, the one who would completely destroy all who stood before her.

She fought for Aizen and Aizen alone.

The only one who noticed the change within her was Ulquiorra.

His eyes narrowed and his fists clenched.

"We will begin…"

And although he was merely whispering, the silky voice of the king drifted into the ears of all.

"…Tomorrow."

…

**(Soul Society)**

They charged into battle like warriors on warhorses, drunk on their own adrenaline. Rain didn't waste any time with introductions, she leaped into the fight screaming out her own made-up battle cries and slaying any stupid shinigami who tried to block her way with a swipe of her sword.

_One, two, three, four… five-six-seven-… eightnineteneleven._ She began to lose count once they starting coming all too fast.

She was pumped now, she was focused. She was going to kill all those whom Aizen had wanted her to kill. She gave a bloodthirsty shriek when she caught sight of the 10th division and landed on the ground unveiling her lethal weapon.

"Taicho!" A woman's voice rang out. "You go help the 6th division. They're having a little trouble with that blue haired bastard. I can defeat this one on my own."

_Was that…?_

"Arigato. I'm leaving it to you."

Rain squinted at some faraway figure who was standing some 300 meters away. It was hard to make out anything at that distance. Rain gave a bloodcurdling laugh.

"Too scared to come closer?" She trilled, grinning. The figure began sprinting closer, drawing her own weapon.

"Only idiots could be scared of you." With shocking speed, the woman had appeared fully before Rain. Rain glanced up at her grinning. Then when her eyes raked up to her face, she froze and she drew a sharp intake of breath.

Her sword clattered to the floor as Rain felt all the energy leave her body.

"M-Matsumoto?"

* * *

_Dun dun dun!_

_How's that for suspense!_

_Oh and Aizen sounds a little suggestive here. So does Gin. Think whatever you will think. :)_


	9. Chapter 8

_Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach._

_This chapter is kind of emotional. So yeah, just a heads up._

_Enjoy!_

_

* * *

_

**Take me to heaven: I'm yours**

_Chapter 8: Thanks for the memories_

**

* * *

**

_All those memories…_

"Rain! Stop it!"

_All those happy times…_

"Oh Matsumoto, you're so depressing I could curl up and cry."

_All those stupid games…_

"Tag! You're it!"

_Such great times…_

"MATSUMOTO!"

_And now this…_

…

"M-Matsumoto?"

The auburn haired shinigami paused in her tracks. Her pretty eyes narrowed.

"Who are you?"

Rain could've laughed, she could've danced, she felt so light she could've flown up into the sky.

With a trill she replied. "It's me! Oh my god, I really didn't expect to see you here." She expected some sort of laugh in reply. A smile, definitely. Some trace of Matsumoto that she'd left behind.

There was a snarl, her full lips pulling back behind her teeth. "I don't know what you're talking about!" And then she charged.

Even with her sword lying useless on the ground, Rain's skills had always been better than Matsumoto's. One of them being a shinigami didn't change that fact. Rain dodged the _Espada turned Shinigami_ effortlessly and managed to pull Matsumoto away from her by the neck of her clothes. In no time at all, she had Matsumoto down in a headlock. Matsumoto squirmed.

"Let me go, you bastard!"

Rain smiled wistfully. "You always hated it when I did this to you, didn't you, eh? Matsumoto-san?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." The buxom woman repeated, her tone was cold, disgusted. It felt like a blow to the stomach. "Growl, Haineko!"

Instantly, they were surrounded by a million sparkles of dust. Had Rain been in her right state of mind, she would've sensed danger and ran to her sword. But with shock and hurt buried deep within her heart, her brain just couldn't tell her to fear. She felt her mind shut down.

"Beautiful." Rain murmured, dropping Matsumoto and making her way over to the cloud of dust. "Isn't it beautiful, Matsumoto?" When the stunned woman didn't reply, Rain continued. "Do you remember when we used to always sit on our special place on the roof, our secret place, and watch the sand glimmer in Las Noches?"

Las Noches? Was this girl _kidding_ her?

Matsumoto screamed at her. "I don't know what you're talking about! I did no such thing with you! I did no such _thing with you_!"

Rain froze, angrily, her blood began to boil. "You don't remember?" It came out as a snarl, deathly quiet. Louder… then louder…"You don't _remember_?" By then, her screech could've torn Matsumoto's ears off. "I'll tell you why you don't _fucking remember_!"

Rain grabbed her sword and flew at her, slashing furiously with each word she spoke. "You_…left…_me_! _Left _us!_ And did you even say goodbye?" Tears poured down her face, mingling with her blood and sweat. An awkward combination of the three dripped into her mouth. It tasted salty, filled with broken promises and bittersweet memories. She stopped slashing at the bewildered _shinigami _and screamed at her instead, splashing wounds in her ever-so-delicate dignity, stitching her heart back up with spider web instead of thread. "I would've done everything for you." Her voice began to crack. "Yet all you left me was a stupid note. A _stupid, stupid note_! Want to see?" Rain pulled out the crumpled paper from her belt and thrust it at her.

"You've forgotten." She sneered when Matsumoto's face twisted in confusion. "Read it. It might help jog your memory."

Stunned by the Espada's outburst, Matsumoto sealed her zanpakuto and reached tentatively for the note. Her eyes scanned it slowly, widening at certain words. Rain snickered.

"Recognise the handwriting, traitor?"

At the last word, Matsumoto shrieked in shock. "I don't understand! I really, really don't understand!"

Rain's eyes darkened until her once beautiful blue turned grey became a repulsive black. "You don't understand…" She muttered. "Because you erased me, from all your memories. Did I really mean that little to you, Matsumoto? Did I really take up so small space of your heart that you could just toss me away like a forgotten piece of trash?" And then she charged, thrusting her sword directly through the older woman's stomach, twisting, then pulling it out.

A second passed so slowly that Rain could've sworn it had been a minute whilst the buxom auburn haired woman's eyes widened in shock and swivelled round to look at her. The hopeless look in those eyes made Rain want to scream. She would have nightmares for several days, she was sure. That helpless misunderstanding. The stunned shock, then pain of the wound.

…

_-a breath, now come the words-_

_So, 3 years, huh? Funny how I never really noticed you before._

_I could say the exact same thing to you._

_-a grin, tired but lasting-_

_You seem different to the rest, kid. I reckon we can actually become friends._

_You reckon?_

_-a nose, scrunched up playfully- _

_Yeah._

_I reckon I can squeeze you into my schedule._

_-an introduction, the beginning of an everlasting friendship-_

_7__th__ Espada, Rain. I have no last name. You?_

_9__th__ Espada, Matsumoto Rangiku. Nice to meet you. _

…

And somehow Rain found herself completely contradicting her own emotions, her own words.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry!" Rain crouched protectively over her ex-best friend, trying, but failing to heal the wound she had created herself. Tears dripped down her bloody face. "Sorry!"

"Matsumoto?"

Rain turned tearfully to the voice. It was male and sounded positively shocked. The younger Espada felt her throat clog and her breath hitch as she saw him. She… she _recognised _him. How did that work?

"To-Toshiro." Her voice cracked.

He looked at her in slight surprise, but cold familiarity. "Kurosaki." He acknowledged.

Somehow, Kurosaki suited her so much better than Rain. "How-" She whispered.

"I killed him." The tenth captain replied indifferently. "The one who erased your memory. He… he told me, before he died. He told me… everything."

Rain felt her tears dry in shock. "You… you _killed_ him? Ulquiorra's… Ulquiorra's _dead_?" She felt weak, unprotected and blubbering like a baby but there was nothing she could do about it. She had never thought that Ulquiorra, who had always seemed _so strong_ could've ever died. He seemed almost immortal to her.

"To my knowledge of what had happened, Kurosaki. I believe you should be regaining your memories right about now." The white-haired taicho told her stiffly. He stood a distance away from the two women but Rain knew that once she left, he would rush over to his subordinate's side in less than a heartbeat. It saddened her how his trust in her had completely vanished. "The one who cut off your memories is dead, he cannot lock them any longer."

"Memories?" She croaked.

…

**-a present, cheers to happiness-**

"_Karin!"_

"_To-Toshiro?"_

"_Hey." _

"_You came back?"_

"_Only for a little while. I got something for you. Open it when you get home. I have to go now."_

"_Wait, what? Are you proposing to me?"_

"_Nani! Of course not! It's more like… how much our friendship has meant to me. And… and I want to thank you for making my stay in the human world so much more happier than it could have been."_

"_Yeah, me too."_

_Then he left, disappearing from her as aptly as he had come. _

_She smiled. _

"_Ja ne, Toshiro."_

…

**-a letter, sent to remember-**

_Karin,_

_I'm sorry that I had to leave so soon and I didn't know how to say goodbye._

_I'm not __an openly emotional person. In fact, I usually leave that kind of thing to Matsumoto. But I wanted you to have this as a farewell gift. I hope you will wear it for a long time to come._

_I made this necklace myself. Not the chain of course, but the dragon. It's made from __Hyorinmaru's ice. I wanted you to have something to remember me by._

_Stay healthy, and alive, please. For me._

_That is all._

_Toshiro._

…

**-kidnapped, a word so poorly chosen to it's meaning-**

"_What are you doing here, Emeralds?" _

_Ulquiorra stiffens at the ridiculous nickname she had given him so long ago but tries to not let her see anything as petty as emotion glide across his face._

"_Karin," he murmurs, his voice dripping sickly sweet with a poison beyond recognition. "Goodbye."_

_And then her beautifully white-washed world turns black._

…

**-an insight to her past-**

_"Your name is Kurosaki Karin." The green eyed one told her stoically. "That is the only thing I will tell you."_

_"And yours?" she jibed playfully._

_He pauses, hesitates for a millisecond._

_"Ulquiorra. Just call me Ulquiorra." He has passed the mark already._

_She frowns, considering this. "Okay, so Ulquiorra… what's your favourite ice-cream flavour?"_

_He sighs, knowing that he really, really shouldn't tell her but finding no restraint. "If you must know, it's mint."_

_"Mint? That's my favourite too! Oh my god, will you treat me to some ice cream? I mean, we do have the same favourite flavour and everything."_

_He scowls, finding her language extremely hard to understand. What in the name of Kami-sama did she speak, like, a modernized Japanese slang or something? "Don't push it."_

…

**-Rain, the newest creation of Aizen's strong army-**

"_You are one of us." Aizen declares, "As a privileged member of the Espada, you must be given a name if you do not already have one. Say, do you happen to have a name?"_

_She has a name. It's Kurosaki Karin. Ulquiorra had told her. It's the only thing she knows about herself. _

"_I don't have a name." She says boldly, coldly staring at him through humourless pale grey eyes. "Why don't you give me one?"_

_Aizen laughs and Ulquiorra glares. His green eyes are giving her a warning, silently screaming at her to shut the hell up already. She obeys because Ulquiorra's advice can be kind of useful sometimes._

"_Rain." Aizen muses thoughtfully. "I like that name. You can be Rain."_

_Rain smiles tremendously. It's fake and she knows it. "Arigato, Aizen-sama." She said. "I will serve under you faithfully and loyally."_

_That is what Ulquiorra had told her to say. He had also told her to close her eyes and ignore the scorching pain as they carve the number 7 into the flat plane of her stomach._

* * *

Grrr! The 'align center' button isn't working properly! I'm not sure if it will show up as it's supposed to. Very sorry if it doesn't. Very sorry.

By the way, if anyone's confused, I'll just give a brief summary of the chapter.

Basically, Toshiro killed Ulquiorra and because Ulquiorra was the one who had erased Rain's memory, she now has all her memories back. Ha, told you it was brief. :)

OK thanks guys for sticking with me and revieeeeeeew! Only a few more chapters to go till Part II.


	10. Chapter 9

_Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach._

_Sorry for the delay. There was some sort of problem with the fanfiction site and I couldn't post anything. But it should all be fine now, thanks. _

_There's a pretty sudden twist in chapter. I didn't want the story to end quite so fast, and most definitely not on such a sad note. So here is it, chapter 9. I hope you guys like it. :)_

_Enjoy!_

* * *

**Take me to heaven: I'm yours**

_Chapter 9: I love you?_

* * *

Rain comes down in gushing torrents, connecting those that should never be connected. Releasing those that were otherwise locked and confined. It binds together the things that were never meant to be. Things that will never be bound.

_Earth and sky. _

And Rain wonders: if she really were the rain, would she be able to bind the two hearts of those, which cannot be bonded?

…

With shock, Rain realises that Grimmjow is right. She is a fake Espada. Stripped of her memories and laden with false dreams.

She tells herself that she isn't… she doesn't know these people.

Her words can lie, but really, her brain can't.

So she tells herself that she doesn't love the man standing repulsed in front of her. But really, she can't lie to herself, can she?

…

"Toshiro…" She begins and starts shaking. She doesn't know how to do this. Her body is telling her not to, her brain is telling her not to. But her guts, her guts tell her to go for it. She can't. She doesn't know the right words and she knows, somehow, that there could no worse time than this. "Toshiro, I love you!" She shrieks pathetically, crying and hovering protectively over the bleeding body of her former best friend.

Her hair is a mess. Her clothes are a mess. Her dignity had long ago been fed to the paper shredder. Her eyes are sore and red and finally seem to run out of tears. She pleads at him with those eyes; sore and red and running out of tears to cry.

He looks at her, and to her surprise, he doesn't look shocked or even repulsed. His face is grim and she realised, with a sinking heart, that once upon a time, he had probably loved her too. It isn't too late yet, to change anything, she silently begs him. But he looks away from her and rubs his temples in frustration.

"I'm not ready for this." He sighs. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. His words sting and she feels her own breathing stop for a second as she tries to compose herself again. His breathing is laboured, she noticed. His hair more grey than white. She watches him miserably and mentally counts all the things she has done wrong. She got up to five when she realised it was pointless. "Did-did you do this to my subordinate?" he asked her, looking at Matsumoto pointedly. She began ranting, out of fear or desperation or maybe both.

"Aizen told me to but I didn't know that it was Matsumoto and when I attacked it was because I was so angry because she just left us and-"

"Did you, or did you not do this to my subordinate?" His voice was shaking, his temper only just in check.

Karin looked up at him. "Yeah." She sighed shakily. "It was me."

"Okay." He inhaled deeply, calming his furious rage. "Now if you will please leave us while I-"

"No, Toush! I can explain! Please, it wasn't like this."

"I think," He told her firmly, "that you have explained enough already."

"But I honestly-"

"Karin!" He said, using her name for the first time. "Please. Save your remorse for someone who cares."

He walked over to her and gingerly lifted Matsumoto off the cold floor. The way he held her, so delicately and carefully, as if one small jilt would kill her, almost made her cry again. But Karin just watched him regrettably, shedding no more tears. This was her life and she was going to live it. She felt her heart harden with every passing second. Her life.

Toshiro walked away from her, his head raised and his back stiff. He didn't spare her a second glance before he picked up his speed and ran off.

Her life.

She didn't care. She had already lost everything that she could've ever lost, there was nothing left for her to lose.

"I hope you know," she told the empty space where Toshiro had just inhabited. "I really did love you."

She picked herself off the ground and wiped her dirty face with the back of her hand. It didn't do much difference but it made her feel that much better. She turned from the blood-splattered battleground and sheathed her sword. There were plenty more battles still raging but Kurosaki Karin would not shed any more blood tonight. Karin squared her shoulders and ran off with a false air of dignity, composure and confidence. But that was okay; she had time to repair herself.

…

A shudder ran through Soul Society.

Karin froze as she recognised the fading reiatsu. A large gust of wind blew past her, throwing dust and debris into her face. She shielded herself and swore as the wind pushed her back onto the ground. A second later, the wind stopped. The reiatsu faded until it became nothing.

Well, Aizen died. Hurrah hurrah.

She let out a snicker, it seemed that his great ambush hadn't of worked after all. It came as no surprise. Just another thing he had lied about. She felt a strange loneliness settle inside of her.

_It's not gonna go_, she mused in amusement. Everything morbid had started to become amusing to her. She relished in the fact that she had nothing left. No friends, no enemies and no…

No. She had a family!

"Ichigo." She declared, loving the familiarity of his name on her tongue. "Kurosaki Ichigo. Kurosaki Karin. Kurosaki Yuzu."

She had _family_. Not like Hitsugaya Toshiro, or Matsumoto Rangiku, or even Ulquiorra Schiffer. She had real family. Like Ichigo and Yuzu.

10 years.

10 long years.

Would they still welcome her, after what she had become?

She wanted a family. People to love and care for her. Somebody to laugh and cry with. People to listen to her dreams. Someone who could _understand_.

Karin gave a shaky smile and brushed the dirt and grit from her clothes. She even took the time to run her fingers through her grimy hair and straighten out the biggest of the knots. Well, it was going to be their first reunion after what, a decade? At the very least, she had to look _presentable. _She grabbed her sword and held it out, hoping against hope that she was shinigami enough to open up a Senkai gate. Hell, she wasn't even _dead_. She didn't have a zanpakuto.

After a few minutes of feeling foolish she sheathed her sword again and sighed. Getting out of Soul Society was going to have to take some work.

Toshiro had never told her much of Soul Society. Ichigo of course, hadn't breathed one word about it to her. But Ulquiorra…?

…

_That Urahara guy, are you sure he's not a… shinigami? Because… because he looked an awful lot like one."_

"_He… he is."_

"_**What**__?"_

"_He's… he's a good guy, or bad guy, in our case, but you get the point."_

…

She didn't know much about the 'Urahara guy'. Or hat 'n' clogs, as she liked to call him. But she knew that he was a shinigami and that he had a station in the human world. That was a start, at the very least. But hell, she didn't know where to begin finding him or if he was even in Soul Society at all.

Karin turned and began running to the highest point in all of Soul Society, just so that she could have a good view of all the people fighting. It was a long run and she was soon breathless. It didn't help that she was still just a human forced out of her own body.

The war raged on. Karin glanced back several times to watch her _supposed_ comrades get slaughtered and die as her _supposed _enemies murdered them in cold blood. The shinigami were winning. But she didn't know which side she was supposed to be on anymore.

_One-two-three-four_

A few more steps and she'd be up on the mountain overlooking the entire battle.

_Five-six-seven-eight_

Karin reached the top of the cliff, collapsing on the ground to catch her breath back. It took a few minutes, but she finally trudged over to the edge to overlook the battle. It was a sea of black and white, blurring like a TV with bad reception.

An earth-shattering explosion blew out. Screaming was heard as huge pieces of debris came crashing down from the remains of the destroyed houses. As the dust began to settle, Karin caught a glimpse of a flash of red and black. She gave a shout.

"Ichi-nii!"

She knew that attack. She had seen him use it several times when he had battled Ulquiorra outside their house. She felt a lurch of emotion as she watched him use it again after 10 years of exile.

"Ichi-nii!" She screamed again, bursting with excitement. "Ichigo it's me!"

Her shouts were silent against the rest of Soul Society. Karin screamed again. And again. And again.

"Ichigo!"

"Ichi-nii it's me!"

"Nii-san!"

"Ichi-nii!"

Almost crying with desperation, Karin lifted her head and let out a wordless scream. It echoed off the buildings and bounced around the streets.

It was filled with misery, broken dreams and soul-deep regret.

"Shut up."

Karin froze, her breath coming out in short little gasps.

"Shut up." The silvery voice came again. A slippery hand came round to cover her mouth. "Shut up, or they'll hear you."

She felt light breathing down the side of her shirt and a soft chant tickled her ear, suddenly, she felt a binding spell fasten itself around her body, locking her muscles together so that she was unable to move. A hand slid forwards to grasp her arm.

"Come with me." The voice wasn't unfamiliar but she couldn't place it anywhere. It was slightly muffled but decidedly female. It had that sweet, childish ring to it.

"Will you come with me?" A mischievous pout on the other girl's lips. Her fingers clenched tighter around Karin's arm, the nails digging into her skin. "If you say no, I think I might have to make you."

Karin glared stubbornly ahead of her, refusing to comply, unable to move or make a sound. "Oh I forgot!" A giggle of pealing bells. "How stupid of me. You can't move _or_ talk. Well, then it looks like I'll have to make your decisions for you."

There was a ruffle of material as the girl took her hand off Karin's arm to rummage around her clothes. The screeching tear of clothing filled Karin's ears as she furiously tried to attempt look at her captor.

"There we go." A black cloth was tied around Karin's eyes, completely obscuring her sight. She was knocked off her feet and, much to her contempt, picked up bridal style. "Let's go!" The sugary voice of the girl rang in Karin's ears as she felt herself getting further and further away from the mountain. Further and further away from her brother.

_Ichigo…_ She thought blankly. _Why won't you come save me?_

* * *

_So... how was the twist?_

_Like it? Love it? Hate it? Needs improvement? TEEELLL MEEE! I want to know. :)_

_PS. Virtual cookies and icy-poles to those that correctly guess who this mysterious girl is. And virtual CHOCOLATE and ICE CREAM to those that correctly guess who she is AND why she took Karin._

_Review!_


	11. Chapter 10

_Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach_

_Hey hey hey :)_

_Ohmygod. I just realised something. This is the second last chapter before Part I finishes. Part I will finish at Chapter 11. Woah. That went pretty fast. _

_Anyway, enjoy!_

* * *

**Take me to heaven: I'm yours**

_Chapter 10: As life crumbles_

* * *

The wind whipped her hair into her face and Karin could still hear the clashing of swords far below her. Yet they, too, faded slowly into the distance. She seemed to enter a new universe where only her, her captor, and the sigh of the winds existed.

"We're almost there." Came a soft whisper into her ear. "Not long left. I'll take off your blindfold so you can see. I'm sorry, but it's just too risky where we were."

She felt the wind die down as her captor slowed down and came to a halt. They entered darkness and she felt the coldness pierce her skin. She felt a strange calmness pass through her. She felt her body relax as much as it could.

"We're here." Her captor said simply.

Karin's blindfold was ripped off and she blinked a couple of times to readjust to the light.

They were in a cave. It was a beautiful cave, carved so smoothly that it couldn't possibly have been natural. The walls sloped down in a circular motion, making it feel like they were standing inside a massive sphere. Small splashes of paint were thrown randomly on the walls. Obviously her captor had tried to decorate it a little. It reminded Karin sadly of Matsumoto.

She turned to look at her captor. With shock, she realised that the beauty of her captor would surely be far greater than the beauty the cave could ever possess. She was easily the loveliest looking person (or soul) Karin had ever set her eyes upon. She couldn't have looked more than 16. She was short, but still a little taller than Karin herself. She had large eyes the colour of melted chocolate and the softest looking raven hair pulled back into a small bun. A small smile adorned her face, accenting her other petite facial features.

Standing beside her, Karin felt more like a garbage bag. The girl sighed, easily losing her smile.

"I'm really very sorry." She said, looking sincerely into Karin's dark grey eyes. "I just wanted to talk with you. I didn't mean to be all that dramatic. It just turned out that way."

Karin didn't reply. She couldn't. But her eyes told the girl just how she was feeling. The girl's mouth pulled down into a sad frown.

"Look, I'm sorry if you still don't trust me. But honestly, I don't mean you any harm. You're Shiro-chan's friend, for god's sake. I couldn't bring myself to hurt you even if I wanted to."

"…"

"Oh, right! Whoops, sorry. I completely forgot." She released Karin's mouth from her spell, but left her body bound.

An inevitable string of profanities spilt out of her mouth as she felt her jaw get released. The girl winced at the language, but didn't object or comment in any way. Finishing her swearing rant, Karin resulted to glaring at her once again.

"Well," her captor gave a pretty smile. "now that's out of your system, let's introduce ourselves, shall we? My name is Hinamori Momo. I'm the vice-captain of the 5th division."

"Under Aizen." Karin muttered to herself. She closed her eyes and reopened them. "You already know who I am." She murmured. "If you didn't, you wouldn't have captured me. Rather, you'd have killed me."

Momo laughed. "You're right. I do know who you are. Kurosaki Karin. Sister of Kurosaki Ichigo. Forcibly made to join Aizen." She smiled. "Toshiro told me all about you."

"Did he now?" Karin replied sourly.

"Mou, you can't be too hard on him, you know." The raven-haired beauty pouted. "He was trying to do what was right."

"Yes, he's great at that, isn't he?"

"Oh, Karin!"

"Oh, Momo!"

Momo threw her hands up into the air in frustration. Karin smirked.

"Wish you didn't catch me now, eh?"

"No, it's just that… he really likes you, you know? Give him a chance, will you?"

"Give him a ch-chance…" Karin stuttered incredulously. "_I fucking gave him a million chances!_ I was the one who fucking told him I loved him because all those years, he was too chicken. When I was kidnapped, he fucking didn't give a shit. In fact, he thought me worse because of it!"

Momo drew back, taken by surprise. "I'm sorry, but he was confused. He didn't know what to say or what to think."

"Oh, and he told you all this?" Karin sneered. "Did he tell you to capture me and tell me he liked me after he tossed me aside? Is it because he's too chicken to do it himself?"

"No!" Momo recoiled; hurt that Karin would even suggest such a thing. "Look he didn't tell me to do anything. I took you of my own accord. It has nothing to do with Toshiro, okay?"

"Fine." Karin grumbled.

"In fact, to prove my honesty, I'll do three things for you. Anything. You can choose."

"Anything?"

"Well, I'm not going to murder Toshiro for you. That's not fair."

"Ah. All about the fairness these days, aren't we?" Karin drawled sarcastically.

"Oh, Karin. Please!"

It was the 'please' that touched Karin. Something she hadn't heard in a long time.

"Alright." She relented. "Tell you what, I don't need you to do anything for me. That's not fair on you or Toshiro, to be honest."

"No, I insist." Momo persisted. "If I don't, I'll feel like a horrible person."

"Well," Karin smirked. "If you insist."

…

_I want you to undo this stupid binding spell on me. It's incredibly uncomfortable. Have you ever experienced it before?_

…

Momo hesitated and bit her fingernails. She sighed and turned to the entrance of the cave. Karin heard her chanting several kido spells. Then she turned back to Karin and released her.

"What was that for?" Karin asked, shaking out her sore muscles.

"It's… to make sure you can't get outside. To protect you." Momo replied. "If you must know, the war is over. The shinigami have won. Regardless of whether you are innocent or not, you've been an Espada and you will be executed if found."

"Um, okay then." Karin frowned.

…

_I want my friends to be okay. I need Ulquiorra's body and picture proof of Matsumoto's recovery._

…

Momo watched as Karin carefully laid the body of the former 4th Espada on the white sheet she had lain out for him. Her eyes dripped sorrowful tears. Karin leant over him and gave him a peck on his forehead.

"You were one of my best friends." She murmured to his corpse. "You didn't exactly have a great life but I sincerely hope you get another chance."

She ripped off part of her Espada dress. The one he had so very skilfully mended and repaired every time it tore. She placed the white fabric in his hand and closed his fingers around it. One by one.

"Matsumoto is doing fine." Her voice cracked. "Here." She placed the picture Momo had taken of Matsumoto resting into Ulquiorra's other hand. "You can keep it. Now you have something of both of us."

Momo watched sadly, tears welling up in her own eyes. Funerals had never really been her thing. "I'm sorry." She whispered to Karin. "I'm sorry that he… he died at the hands of Shiro-chan."

Karin nodded in appreciation of the apology and signalled to Momo to begin. Momo wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and began to chant a binding spell. Karin watched the golden chains wrap around Ulquiorra and lift him securely into the air. He was carried over to the small pit Karin had dug earlier. It wasn't deep. Only a few feet. But Karin didn't want to have to pile stone and earth over his body so she decided to give him a small open grave.

Once his body was in place, she took the sheet he had been lying on and covered his body with it.

"Rest well." She whispered. "I'll be here beside you, for as long as I can."

Momo had wanted to light incense and burn money as well. Bu Karin had bluntly told her that that was stupid and Ulquiorra probably wouldn't want it either.

…

_I want my family. I want to see them, to be able to touch and communicate with them. Over here or in the human world, I don't really care._

…

Momo paused. "I'm sorry, I can't allow you to ask me to do that."

"Didn't you tell me anything?"

"Yes, well, anything besides that. And murder."

"Why not?"

"Well, I can't let anyone go in or out of this cave. It's to keep you safe, remember? If you go out, you will be discovered and executed. If I let somebody in, they might tell others of your hiding place."

"I don't care! I want to see them."

"Mou, Karin. It's not just you. It's me too. If anyone finds out that I've helped you, they'll execute me too, without hesitation."

"Why should I care whether you live or die? You were the one to take me in the first place. It was really your decision."

"Oh, Karin!"

"Okay, fine, fine." Karin grumbled. "You were trying to help me. Blame it all on tenderness of the heart."

Momo beamed. "Well, if there's anything else you want me to do. I'm right here."

Karin rolled her eyes. "I'll tell you. Once I've thought of something other than 'get me the hell out of this shit hole'."

"Mou, my cave isn't that ugly. I tried to decorate it, see?" she gestured to the splatters of paint adorning the walls.

Karin snorted. "Right."

…

"Hey, Momo?"

_I have a question._

"Mmm?"

_Tell me, Momo._

"What do you use his place for? Did you build it just to kidnap me in?"

_Answer honestly._

"Of course not! It was just the first place that came to my mind. I come to this place to have some quiet time, where I can think in peace. Without the clutter and annoyance of other noises. The only other person who knows this place is Toshiro."

_I want the truth._

"Oh that's just great. What of he decides to just rock up here? What do I do then?"

_It's a little bit embarrassing._

"He might. But he already knows that you're here. I've told him everything. He knows."

_A little complicated._

"What? But didn't you say-"

_But you'll understand._

"Karin! This is Toshiro. He loves you. Do you really think that he'd get you executed? Or me, for that matter."

_Won't you, Momo?_

"Did you just say he loves me?"

_Well, here goes._

"Uh, yes? Haven't I told you that before?"

_I was wondering._

"No. You said 'still likes'."

_I was just thinking._

"Oh, sorry. Well, he does love you. Do you still love him?"

_Just in case, you know._

"Um..."

_If, even just a tiny bit._

"Do you?"

_Do you think Toshiro will still love me?_

* * *

_Congratulations to NanaGoesBlehh for guessing who the captor was! Virtual cookies and icypoles to you. :)_

_Please review everyone!_


	12. Chapter 11

_Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach_

_Heeey! This is the last chapter of Part I!_

_Enjoy!_

* * *

**Take me to heaven: I'm yours**

_Chapter 11: The end of the beginning_

* * *

_I have a question._

_Tell me, Momo._

_Answer honestly._

_I want the truth._

_It's a little bit embarrassing._

_A little complicated._

_But you'll understand._

_Won't you, Momo?_

_Well, here goes._

_I was wondering._

_I was just thinking._

_Just in case, you know._

_If, even just a tiny bit._

_Do you think Toshiro will still love me?_

…

"Well?" Momo persisted. "Do you love him?"

Karin sighed and flopped onto her back on the mat they slept on. "I'll tell you, Momo." She replied. "When I've figured it out myself. Trust me, you'll be the first to know."

Momo nodded in satisfaction and lay down beside Karin.

"One day, we will go travelling together." She promised Karin. "In the human world. I want to experience all those exotic countries. Like America and Australia. Places we've never been."

Karin gave a yawn. It was becoming dark, the stars shone brightly through the entrance of the cave, illuminating them in it's gleaming light. She turned to face the other girl.

"Yeah. We should do that. If only we could both escape from Soul Society." An idea suddenly occurred to her. "Why can't you just use your sword to open a Senkai Gate?"

"That crossed my mind before." Momo admitted. "But it's no good. I found out that Soul Society have been monitoring souls going in and out of that. I think they know you and I are still here."

Karin sighed. "We're wanted people now, right?"

"Yeah." A tinge of sadness struck Momo's lovely voice. "We are."

Momo glanced over to Karin. Karin was pretty in her own right. She had beautiful dark hair that fell around her face in sections. It wasn't terribly long. A few inches past her shoulders, around the same as Momo's. Karin had beautiful eyes that had been grey when Momo had first taken her but was now a deep, dark midnight blue.

Momo smiled and turned to watch the stars again. "Go to sleep, Karin." She said dreamily.

They both fell into the waiting arms of slumber, dreaming about the future and all the possible outcomes.

Perhaps, the time may come when they could be free, they could live their lives and not give a damn about what anyone else thought. With Toshiro. Maybe that was wishful thinking; it seemed worlds away. A world where they had once been happy. Perhaps... there was so many possibilities. If they could just get out of Soul Society and leave the cruel memory behind them.

Momo smiled in her sleep and turned over so that she was facing Karin.

A world of happiness and peace, how lovely that sounded.

* * *

_Yay! Part I completed!_

_Now you guys are just gonna have to wait for the next part. I won't upload it quickly; I still have a few more chapters to write. :)_

_Yes! I love all you reviewers! You guys make my world shine!_


	13. Part II

**PART II**

…

_She has a smile for the past._

_A frown to balance it up._

_A dance in the memories._

_And a dream to live up._

…


	14. Chapter 12

_Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach._

_OK, so here's my Easter present for you. this is the first chapter to Part II of TMTH:IY. _

_Sit back and enjoy!_

* * *

**Take me to heaven: I'm yours**

_Chapter 12: The icy cold, this life_

* * *

_Hey Momo?_

_Be my BFFL: Best Friend For Life, okay?_

_Or at least, the rest of my existence._

…

"Karin! Not like that!"

"Aw, why not? It is my side of the cave, right?"

"Well, okay. Fine. As long as it doesn't get on my side, got that?"

"Right!"

***SPLAT***

"_Kariiin_!"

"Oh I'm so sorry, Momo! The paint must've just slipped out of my hand and flown across the room. Gee, it seems to be doing that a lot lately."

"What do you mean? You only just threw it once…"

***SPLAT***

"Sorry, Momo? What did you just say?"

"Oh, _Karin_!"

***SPLAT***

"Yay! Paint fight! I'm in!"

"Well, Karin. You asked for it!"

***SPLAT***

***SPLAT***

***SPLAT***

"Woah, Momo! Three in a row! You really are Superman!"

"Superwoman, Karin. And yes, only the best for you, my darling!"

…

They lay silently on the small mat used for sleeping, both sharing Momo's one blanket. Karin grasped Momo's hand and entwined both their fingers together.

"Tell me how many stars are out in the night sky, Karin." Momo gazed at the constellations dreamily.

"Thirty-three billion, eighty-nine million, twenty-five thousand and three hundred and thirty-six."

"That's completely incorrect."

"I know."

Momo snuggled up beside her and looked away, knowing what Karin's reaction would be. "Toshiro loves you, you know that?"

Karin shot up to glare at the other girl. "Where the hell did that come from?" She asked angrily.

"The stars. Toshiro must be watching them too. He had always loved watching the stars." The brown eyed beauty gazed back at Karin, her lovely chocolate orbs filled to the brim with longing for her white-haired childhood friend. Momo had this amazing ability to distract you. With her large eyes and tight smile, she would confuse you, twist you around until you fell prey to her charms. She did this unknowingly, and failed to realise the effect she made on most men.

"If he loves them so much why doesn't he go and marry them?" Karin replied stubbornly, crossing her arms.

"Oh, Karin." And all the emotion in those two simple words wounded Karin more than Grimmjow ever could. Love, sadness, regret, pain and bitterness.

"I don't love him, Momo."

"So you say."

"I've had my chance with him. He's had his chance with me. I got rejected. We're done. That's it."

"It wasn't rejection, darling. All he wanted was time. He needed time to sort out his feelings."

"What feelings?" Karin retorted back.

Momo sat up too then and turned Karin's face to her own. She reached out and cupped Karin's face in her cool hands. She smoothed out the creases in her forehead, relaxing her muscles. "Don't frown like that, Karin. It doesn't become you."

"Why should I care if it becomes me?" Karin choked, clearly upset. Momo gave her a quick kiss on the forehead.

"Go to sleep, Karin. We can talk in the morning, alright?"

Karin sighed. "You sleep, Momo. I need to get some fresh air."

Momo nodded in concern. "Don't stray too far. You don't want the shinigami to catch you, alright?"

"Yes, yes. I know." Karin replied impatiently. Momo gave a tight smile.

"Night, Rin."

"Night."

Karin watched Momo slide back under the covers of the blanket they shared and give Karin one last worried glance before closing her eyes and falling prey to slumber. Momo had that magical ability to fall asleep at will. Karin had always envied that. In fact, there were many things Karin had always envied Momo of having. Her beauty, for instance, and her perfect femininity.

Karin spared the sleeping Momo one last glance before heading outside to think. The fresh air felt cool on her face and she breathed it in deeply. It tasted like grass and the first drops of morning dew. She sat down; making sure to sit within the bubble of Kidou Momo had created to keep intruders out. It would make them almost invisible to outsiders, Momo had told her. It was a spell she had created herself. Momo was smart. Karin envied that too.

Karin loved Momo the way she loved Yuzu. Momo was like the older sister she'd never had. But despite their similarities, Momo was really quite different to Yuzu. She had courage, for one thing. And strength. She was sensible and practical. A little overreacting at some times but Karin loved her for it. She hated cooking, but was always able to make some delicious meals for them both, consisting of fresh fish and stolen rice. And, if they were lucky, a stolen watermelon or two. Shunpo was really quite handy in Rukongai.

If Momo was Yuzu, her sister, then Toshiro was her late mother, as funny as it sounded. Lost a long time ago and far away from her. Never quite in reach. He was her labyrinth, and she was stuck in the middle, with no idea on where to turn next. One side was love and the other was loss. There was no other alternative. She could either love him, or lose him. And she wanted neither. She just wanted him to be there, not quite in front of her, but not quite behind her either.

It took a while for her to gather her thoughts together enough to want the aching of sleep again. It may have been a few minutes, a few hours? But she finally picked herself off the cold ground and joined Momo in their little bed. She lay down and closed her eyes, not really sleeping but not quite awake.

She was stuck in the middle, with no idea which way to turn, which path to follow. Her body fell limp and she dove into sleep, tracing the lines of familiarity and finding that she was walking precariously on the edge of losing her way, her sense of direction. And if anything, she didn't want to become another Kenpachi, running around in total loss, following orders from overenthusiastic young children.

_Karin!_ They would shout at her. _Come this way._

_No, turn this way, Karin. Toshiro's this way!_

_You don't want to find Toshiro, do you? So go this way._

_It's the next turn, I know it!_

_Karin!_

_Oh, Karin._

…

It took a while for Momo to convince Karin to see Toshiro. Getting some sense through Karin's thick skull didn't just take Momo's gentle encouraging. It had to be beat into her. After a whole stack of eggs and thirty-eight paintballs, (from god knows where), Karin finally gave in.

"Fine." She sighed through a mouthful of green paint, her hair dripping wet with bright orange shades of egg yolk. "But you can't force me to make up with him."

"Deal." The older girl nodded. They bumped fists.

…

_Snore…_

_Tap. Tap. Tap._

_Snore…_

_Scratch. Scratch._

"Well," Karin commented. "This place looks like fun."

Toshiro's head whipped around so fast that Karin got scared it might fall off. "What-What are you _doing_ here?" He hissed in shock. "You could get found."

His eyes were wide open with shock. For once, his emotions glaringly obvious. The blood was slowly draining out of his face, his pale white complexion something to rival his hair. Karin found, with slight surprise, that she'd missed his little bouts of emotion and she wanted elongate it, drawing in their memories (even if it doesn't last forever). It took her a while to reply, and by then, her companion had already arrived. Toshiro's window really was, quite useful.

"Oh, what's a little execution or two? It's healthy. Better than sitting in an office all day, I bet."

"Karin!" Momo reprimanded, getting that _look _in her eyes. Karin just rolled her eyes.

"What? I bet the most exciting thing that happens to him is getting new paperwork. Oh, yippee, more papers to sign!"

And as she said this, she felt a change of pattern in the still air. Karin turned her head around and finally caught sight of what had been causing the snoring. She ran quickly over to the couch and knelt before the sleeping lieutenant. It seemed like the world had stopped. As if there were no shadows left in her life. All her cynical sarcasm and darkened attitude left her and there was only her, Matsumoto, and a waterfall of happy memories.

"Matsumoto." She said softly. "It's me, Karin."

She knew that the _shinigami _wouldn't be able to remember her. But that still didn't stop the small smile creep across her face, and the even smaller spark of hope alighting in her eyes. Momo just sighed and watched sadly, knowing that there's no possible chance of reminiscence.

_Snore…_

"Matsumoto?" Impatient, Karin picked up Toshiro's vase of lilies and dumped the entire contents; soggy flowers, water and all onto Matsumoto's face. She spluttered a few times before turning to glare at her.

Toshiro's a little ticked because the lilies were a gift from someone special. Momo's a little ticked because she was the one who sent the lilies in the first place.

"Good morning!" Karin said cheerily.

Well, it's a start.

Matsumoto gave a funny little gasp, which made Karin giggle. Momo's eyebrows creased in worry. Karin _never_ giggled. The 10th division's lieutenant jumped to her feet in a second.

"What do you want?" she asked. Karin just laughed.

"Oh, don't be such a grump, Ran-chan. It's just me, Karin!"

"Yes, the last time you said that, you sliced me in the stomach." Matsumoto replied bitterly. It really shouldn't concern her that much, this girl. She really did seem quite sorry last time.

"Should I-" Momo whispered, glancing over at Toshiro.

"No." He replied quietly. "Let them sort it out."

Momo bit her lip in worry but refrained from interrupting. She knew that Toshiro would know Karin more than she ever would. (It didn't stop her from crying as soon as the women began yelling in anger).

"I don't care what you remember. You were my best friend! How could you ever write a note like that! Did you know how much you hurt me? Do you even care that Ulquiorra died?"

"I don't know what you're talking about! I've been right here in Soul Society since… since…"

"Since September 29th, right?" Karin choked. "Since the day you left Hueco Mundo."

Matsumoto became silent, her face going pale. Her hands shook as she turned to her captain. "Taicho!" Her beautiful ice blue eyes seemed frosted over. She didn't bother to hide the shock she felt. "Taicho… is this true?"

He didn't reply but she sensed his affirmative. All the blood drained out of her face (as if it hadn't already). She looked at Karin one more time. The young Kurosaki somehow reminded her of herself, too honest and too trusting. Too naïve for her own good. She felt regretfully like Gin as she turned and ran from the scene. Her footsteps resonated in the empty hallways and her sobs were muffled by distance. She ran for what seemed like hours before stopping. She fell back against a wall, exhausted. It seemed a good hiding place as any other. She slid down the wall, shaking, and shivering though she wasn't cold. She began gulping for air as she cried and the tears ran steadily down her face. She wasn't sure why she was crying. Why was she crying? Why was being an Espada affecting her so much? She should move on, she _had _moved on, without ever realising it.

Her mouth was as dry as her eyes were wet. She rubbed her face with her hands and stood up, holding onto the wall for reassurance. Why did it seem like the world was crashing down upon her? What happened in the past had happened in the past. She couldn't change anything now. Now all she could do was walk back to the office and keep her head up, her eyes alert, and her resolve unbroken. That's all she could do.

* * *

_How was it? I tried to put a little of Matsumoto in it, how she felt about everything. I imagine she would be feeling a little overwhelmed. _

_Review please!_


	15. Chapter 13

_Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach_

_Hey I'm posting this chapter up with birthday wishes for a friend. :)_

_Blinded by the Moonlight, happy birthday! _

_And enjoy!_

* * *

**Take me to heaven: I'm yours**

_Chapter 13: love and loss_

* * *

_I don't know what to do._

_I don't know what to think._

_Stuck between the dream and the reality._

_I'm running around in circles._

_Tell me, Momo dear; is death such a tragic thing?_

…

"Don't worry." Karin felt the cool weight of her white-haired ex-best friend rest upon her shoulder. "She's confused. She just needs time to calm down, to sort out her feelings. It won't help if you run and follow her."

His voice felt like ice against her fire. His proximity made her heart thunder like a million wild beasts in her chest. Her breath hitched and she felt her chest constrict. Well, it was now or never.

"Toshiro." She breathed, letting her eyes water shamelessly. "Do you think… do you think I'm a horrible person?"

He didn't reply and she dared not to turn and look at him. The hand resting upon her shoulder stiffened and he clutched her tighter. Seconds passed in hours. The clock ticked, tock, tick, tock.

"Karin." His whisper was deafening. "Do you really love me?"

_That's not right._ Angrily, she found herself musing silently. _I asked him a question. He was supposed to reply._

"I don't know. I did. I really would've done anything for you." She admitted honestly, feeling weak and exposed to the air around her. "Now, I'm not so sure."

She didn't move but felt his smile beside her and he let out a breath of air. It was almost as if he was sighing in relief. "Same." He replied. "Once, a couple of years ago, I really loved you too."

Karin felt her smile burst out too. Good. They were on the same page.

"Well," She finally turned to face him and smirked, letting all her emotions appear on her face for him to access. "It's a start, right?"

"Right." He let a smile grace his face and it was lovelier than she could've ever imagined it. Karin glanced over at her companion; Momo's pretty eyes were filled to the brim with tears.

"Shiro-chan," she choked out. Alarmed, Toshiro went over to her.

"Hinamori, are you alright?" He pressed a concerned hand upon her forehead in worry.

She nodded and gave a choking laugh. "Shiro-chan," She said, "I never knew you could be so-so," She gave a hiccup and smiled. "_Romantic_."

"Oh." He dropped his hand and scowled, his face blushing a million shades of red. "Sh-Shut up."

Momo let the last of her tears dry and then she squealed and appeared before Karin in a flash. "Rin-chan! You're getting married!"

"I-I… _what_?"

Toshiro choked. "She-She's getting _married_?"

"Yes! To you, baka! Rin and Shiro are getting married!" She gasped as she suddenly got the stroke of (what was, in her opinion) a genius. "I know! I should call you two Shi-Rin! Or… Ka-Shiro! Or… or…" Her eyes widened as large as bowling balls. "_To-Ka-Shi-Rin-Ro_!"

Uh, yeah right.

"_No_!" Karin spluttered. "We're not together. We're just… _not together_, alright? Momo, we're just beginning to even be friends again!"

"Mou, Karin-"

"_Hinamori_!" Toshiro glared at her, a red as bright as cherry juice tinging the tops of his cheeks. It contrasted nicely with his snow-white hair and lustrous teal eyes, like a canvas painting. "That's enough."

"Fine." She pouted, jutting her bottom lip out. "I'll stop. But if you _do_ get married, I'm going to scream in our face: 'I told you so!' _and_ I have to be the bridesmaid _and_ you have to let me plan the wedding, alright?"

She was, if not exactly like, Yuzu. The two blended like honey and sugar, syrup and cream. So sweet, innocent and far too trusting.

"Sure, Momo." Karin sighed, glad that the drama seemed to be ending for the day. "Just make sure you order takeaway pizza."

It was meant to be a joke… but nobody seemed to laugh. Finally Toshiro broke the silence.

"And… And watermelon."

…

It was, in Momo's eyes, a rather sweet reunion. Although, there were far too many changes of emotion, tears and memories for Karin's liking. Everything, at the moment, seemed to be resolved. Masumoto returned a little while later amid much joy and wedding planning (Momo), and quiet conversation (Karin and Toshiro). She gave one porcelain smile that was so lovely it lit up the whole room and everyone else had to smile back. Even Toshiro.

_Sometimes,_ Karin mused_, fate seems to heal itself up. You just have to let it go it's own way. _

They decided to leave the place. People would start to come in soon for a fresh delivery of paperwork and none of them wanted to there for that. Momo skipped while Karin ran. Matsumoto twirled and Toshiro smiled. It was nice to have them all back together again.

A second later, Momo turned back.

"Hinamori, where're you-"

"Oh come on! Your wedding has to have lilies and we won't find them anywhere else in Soul Society. Trust me, I won't be a minute." She promised.

It turned out to be the worst decision of her life.

…

The other three waited patiently outside the building, hiding foolishly in a tree. Anyone could've sensed their reiatsu. Thankfully though, nobody walked past. Karin told Matsumoto stories of life in Las Noches whilst they forced Toshiro to keep on sentry duty.

"And then it was like – BAM! – and Szayel kinda just exploded. You just stood there covered in his blood and when he swore at you, you were like 'Oh shit. Wasn't that supposed to happen?' Man, I cracked up so bad watching it."

Matsumoto just laughed. "I wish I remembered that. It would've been hilarious."

Toshiro sighed, wondering why on earth he was running away with three females and no other males. Maybe he was stupider than he thought. "Shouldn't Momo be out by now?" He turned to the two other females in the tree. "Collecting a few flowers can't take this long, can it?"

That simple question brought up another thought into their minds but they pushed it back because they didn't want to believe in it.

"Yeah." Karin frowned. "What's keeping her?"

_(It nudges forward, eagerly bringing them to the point of despair.)_

Toshiro froze, the familiar reiatsu clouding his brain.

It couldn't be. No! He didn't want to believe it.

_(But it's come up to the point where he simply can't just ignore it any longer.)_

"HINAMORI!" He yelled, the realisation finally dawning upon him. His eyes were wide and frantic with alarm. The devil would've positively cackled with delight.

His voice was drowned out by the bang of a door opening and a terrified scream that would haunt him for the rest of his days. It was filled with the sound of terror, the sound of death.

"MOMO!" Karin screamed as she too pieced the puzzle pieces together. "MOMO!" Her blazing eyes turned to Toshiro's and she was shocked to find that tears were dripping down his face.

She clawed her way to the front of the tree and was about to jump out when she felt Toshiro grab her arm. "Don't go. It's no use." He choked. "Saving her would only result in your sacrifice for nothing."

"Don't be stupid!" Karin yelled at him. "Let go of me! You sound like you don't even give a shit about her!"

"She's my- I can't- of course I give a shit! But one person captured is better than two and we're not going to risk it, alright?" He was shouting at her, his nails digging painfully into her arm. She turned her streaming eyes to his face. The pain in his eyes was easily double hers and she realised that although he must be hurting so much more than her, he refrained from doing anything he'd regret.

Karin screamed one last time and buried her face into his chest, sobbing for the loss of one of the closest friends she'd ever had. Toshiro rested his head on hers and rubbed her back soothingly. She could still feel his tears dripping down her neck. "We'll find a way to get her out of the execution." He murmured comfortingly. "She'll be safe soon, okay?"

"Okay." She whispered into his chest, wanting to believe him. They had all but forgotten about Matsumoto, who was still sitting at the back of the huge tree, watching them, until Toshiro remembered.

"Matsumoto." He muttered. "Do something useful for once and tell us if there is anyone within a 5 kilometre radius."

She nodded awkwardly and disappeared in a flash. Moments later, she reappeared before them and knelt at the foot of the tree.

"Iie, taicho. Our location is as good as deserted."

Karin lifted her head to smile gratefully at the vice-captain beneath her. "Thanks Matsumoto."

"No problems." The older woman replied, winking.

"Let's go then." Toshiro ordered, impatient to get away from the area. He was sure that within an hour or so, his and Matsumoto's disappearance would be connected with Karin, and Momo's capture. They had to move, and fast.

…

It must be some sort of a mistake.

Karma must've gotten something wrong.

She's done enough good things in her life to deserve some sort of reward, right? When was punishment her fate, was she doomed to suffer for the rest of her life? Two of her closest friends had died. Where was the justice in the world? Where was the balance?

Tobiume lay forgotten on the floor of the cave. Karin walked over and picked it up, casually dropping a few tears upon it.

Was she still human? Had she stayed so long in the Soul Society that she was dead? When two completely opposite worlds collide, which should she turn to?

Why was she always stuck in the middle, with nowhere to go and no path to take?

"Go right."

Her dark as midnight hair flew wildly as she spun around.

"Wh-What?"

"Like I said, go right." The white haired captain shrugged and pointed to her right.

"What do you mean, go right?" She narrowed her eyes.

"You're lost, no? So go right. It's my lucky side."

"Who said I was lost?"

He smiled. "Nobody. I guessed."

She gave a heavy smirk, accented deeply by her dark, mysterious eyes.

"Alright, I'll go your way."

Only Momo could've interpreted the meaning within that sentence.

He nodded. "Fine."

…

_It's love, actually._

_Give me two options:_

_Give me love and loss,_

_Well, guess what, Toshiro?_

_I'll choose you._

…

"Momo." She whispered to Tobiume. "You're right." She smiled at how ridiculous that sounded. "I do love him."

* * *

_Karin loves him! ahahaha :)_

_Review, please!_


	16. Chapter 14

_Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach._

_A lot of this chapter is focused on Momo. I provided some Toshiro/Karin which I thought was pretty cute, though. :D_

_Enjoy!_

* * *

**Take me to heaven: I'm yours**

_Chapter 14: let me prepare for my fate_

* * *

A rough hand, grasping, holding on for dear life.

A quiet voice, whispering, telling of dreams far gone.

A delicate smile, breaking, 'cause that's just how the cookie crumbles.

…

_"To think, Momo; that you were right._

_You're hardly ever right._

_Like when you said you'd be a minute._

_You were wrong, weren't you, eh, Momo?_

_But that's all right. Toshiro says we'll save you. _

_I have a feeling we will. We'll definitely get you out of there alive, not dead. So don't worry, Momo. We're here for you. Nothing can go wrong._

_To think I could've started hating him._

_Wow, haha._

_I love him, Momo._

_You were right after all._

_Well… that's a first."_

…

"Eh, Karin-chan? Are you talking to yourself?" Matsumoto appeared behind her, clutching a wooden soup spoon. _Momo's_ wooden soup spoon. "Momo was taken a week ago, why are you still holding her zanpakuto?"

Karin sighed, Matsumoto wouldn't understand. "I'm talking to her." She deadpanned, refusing to face the older woman. "Don't interrupt."

"Fine." Matsumoto shrugged. "But will you be joining us for dinner?"

"Maybe later, when I'm hungry."

"Alright, suit yourself then. We're digging in."

"Go ahead."

Such meaningless conversations. These are the ones that really mean the most to you. The ones that really implant themselves into your memory.

It's sometimes tempting to hold on, but then you realise that memory is nothing really. It's the shocking reality and you let go of something that had never really been real anyway. You let go of nothing and then, only then, can you propel forwards with no weight to pull you back.

Completely free.

Toshiro looked back at the girl sitting so peacefully on the floor, her head bent, her eyes shining brightly as she murmured happy words to the shiny sword in her hands. He saw her lips form sweet words such as _life_ and _live_ and _love_. And he wonders what it would be like to live and to love.

He doesn't notice the bitter words like _wrong _and _dead _and _hate_. But that's all right, everybody makes mistakes.

Even perfect captains.

She finished speaking and placed the sword back onto the ground.

"Karin."

She turned to look at him with those deep, deep, mysterious eyes.

"What's up?"

He notices that her cheeks tinge a pretty red colour.

"Come eat with us."

She beams, midnight eyes sparkling with stars.

"Sure, thanks. What's for dinner?"

He grimaces, not wanting to answer. Well, it was Matsumoto's cooking.

"…Want some watermelon?"

Matsumoto grins, and shows Karin her own plate.

"Raw fish stuffed with chocolate and lathered with red bean paste! It's my specialty!"

Her mouth is full of it and her eyes are filled to the brim with pride in her work.

"Umm…"

Karin hesitates in replying, not wanting to offend the older woman. Toshiro jumps to her rescue.

"She's not that hungry, Matsumoto. Give her the watermelon."

Karin shoots him a grateful smile as she accepts the watermelon. He smiles back when he's sure that Matsumoto isn't looking.

But Matsumoto is secretly trained in the skill of deception against stubborn white-haired captains and sees his smile all the same. The grin that shoots across her face was unavoidable.

"Taicho you need to smile like that more often." She murmurs when she thinks he's the only one listening. He stiffens and scowls at her pointedly, otherwise ignoring her altogether.

Matsumoto beams, she's far too used to this behaviour to feel offended.

"Your eyes sparkle more when you smile."

And this time, the female voice isn't Matsumoto.

Toshiro blushes a scarlet red.

…

It's been a week.

Well, more precisely, a week and 3 days. She'd been counting the days; somehow, they still mattered to her. Karin would probably scoff and say something like, _if you're gonna die, you're just gonna die. Why bother caring what day you die on?_

The cool metal strapped around her neck and wrists tugged painfully at her skin. Momo shifted on the earthen floor, huddled up beneath the chair they had (so very generously) provided her with.

She could feel the cold seeping from the ground climb up past her clothes and enter her very skin and bones. She shivered. The night air was nothing if not frosty.

It was definitely not the first time she had been locked up. Her criminal record was hardly clean.

The first time had been during Aizen's defection period. She could remember it clearly now, without the feelings of pain, loss and betrayal. It was a time of confusion, definitely, and she herself had gone into mental hospitality care for a year.

_I hurt for you, taicho. But I don't want to be you. Not anymore. Not like I used to._

_You were underestimated, misunderstood. You wanted more than you were allowed._

_I understand, taicho. I think I always did. But you never gave me a chance. _

She tugged her white prisoner robe further past her legs and turned onto her back. Her eyes scanned the peeling plaster ceiling warily. It had a crack perfectly shaped like a dragon that began near the corner and extended over to the far left wall.

Footsteps echoed through her chamber and she lifted her dirt-stained face to see who it was. The unknown shinigami unclasped a ring of keys and, with steady hands, unlocked the door of the cell.

"Don't try to attack or escape." He called out smoothly. "Right now there are a million blades pointed at you. One wrong move and you will die on the spot."

Momo scowled at him and spat on the floor. Her innocent face was gone, replaced by a foul devil. Another day in this shithole and she would go mad. She placed her head on the ground once more and turned away from him.

"What do you want?"

Her voice was harsh, unbelieving, uncaring. This is what prison does to you. He replied calmly, coolly.

"It's time, Hinamori-fukutaicho. Or, should I still call you that?"

"Ah." She smiled; it was raw and painfully bittersweet. "I see."

"The execution stand has been prepared for you. You are to leave immediately."

The execution stand had been _prepared _for her.

_How sweet of them, _Momo smirked. _They prepared it just for me. I'll have to remember to thank them._

"I'm going to have to get up, right?" She sighed to the shinigami behind her. "Pity, I was getting so comfortable."

He didn't reply and she turned to face him, lifting an eyebrow.

"Well?" She asked impatiently. "Aren't you going to offer to help me up? It's polite, you know." Her cute, mischievous little pout did the trick and he held out a stiff hand, fingers rigid, to pull her up. He sure as hell did not want to do this.

"Oh well." She tutted, shaking her head. "You took far too long. I'm afraid I can't accept your offer. I'm sorry." She picked herself off and dusted her clothes off, frowning at the dirt stains on the white material.

"It's dirty." She looked up and gave the shinigami a dazzling smile. "Would it be too much trouble for you to get me another one? It's a very important day in my life today, you know. I want to look completely immaculate."

"You must proceed to the execution stand, miss." He spoke through gritted teeth, clearly annoyed. "There are to be no delays."

She gave a wry smile. Now what would Karin do in this situation? Karin would scream and beat the crap out of him. She wouldn't take no for an answer. She was simply _that _kind of girl. But then again, Momo wasn't Karin.

"All right then." She gave a sad smile. "You'll come to my funeral, right? You're invited, by the way."

He ignored her and she realised that he must've been in this situation more often than he needed to be. He was far too immune to her teasing and snide comments to care. She wished she could be more like him.

"I'm not a bad person." She found herself whispering as he led her down the many corridors of the Seireitei prison. "I'm just…"

Misunderstood was a bad word. It didn't fit the description of her.

"You are being punished for helping the opposing team during a war. This is a serious offence, how could you say that you aren't a bad person?" His voice was deep and gravely serious. She found that she kind of liked the sound of it.

"I'm not." She insisted. "I'm just…"

"Just what?"

"…I'm tired. Carry me, will you?"

...

"Toshiro?"

"Hmm?"

"When do you think Momo's execution will be?"

"Don't worry, Karin. For offences as big as this, the head-captain must call first a captains meeting before he can make any decisions. It will be a majority vote on what will happen to her. Momo is well loved amongst the captains. There will be much deliberation."

"So if she does have an execution, when do you think it'll be?"

"If she does... I'd say three months. Three months at the earliest."

"Okay. Good."

...

Momo clutched the shinigami's neck tightly and buried her face into his chest. She didn't want him to know that she was scared, absolutely terrified. He had grudgingly agreed to carry her when she told that it was her very last wish. Or maybe it was the eyes. The big round eyes were very useful too.

"You're shaking." He mumured to her. "Are you scared?"

Momo closed her eyes.

"Petrified."

"It's just death, you know. We've all been through it before."

"It doesn't make it any less frightening."

"I guess."

They walked on for a little while longer until the shinigami stopped. He put her down slowly and nudged her forwards.

"We're almost there. I'm not going to carry you any further, you don't want the captains to know that you're scared, do you?"

Momo shook her head. Tears began dropping down her face.

"No." She breathed. "Of course not."

He gave her another push.

"Go. I'll just be standing here guarding the entrance."

She nodded and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Thanks." She said sincerely. He merely nodded. Shock filtered through her. Of course. He must do this to every criminal. Help them prepare mentally for their execution. Bitterness seeped through her body. And here she thought that he was giving her special treatment. It helped, of course, now that she felt a little more confidant than before, but the fact that he had used her to complete his job made the resent shoot through her mind.

"I hope you don't feel anything. You deserve that much."

She ignored him. Such well rehearsed words. She wiped the tears off her face and plastered on a fake smile.

She was ready for her fate.

* * *

_So Karin and Toshiro and Matsumoto thought that Momo was going to be having her execution in at least another 3 months when in fact she was having it just then! So yeah._

_Review! :D_


	17. Chapter 15

_Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach._

_Okay. The bit you've all been dreading. Momo's execution. :)_

_So uh, hopefully you'll enjoy!_

* * *

**Take me to heaven: I'm yours**

_Chapter 15: death after death_

* * *

_Well, I guess we'll leave it to fate then._

…

Matsumoto appeared before them at the mouth of the cave, her pretty face pale and crystal blue eyes wide with alarm.

"Matsumoto!" Karin scrambled to her feet and ran over to the older woman. "What's wrong?"

Toshiro dropped the rice he was eating and froze, staring at his busty lieutenant in horror.

"No." He choked. "It can't be, can it? It's only been a week, that's far too soon!"

Matsumoto's shoulders slumped and she shunpo'ed to kneel before her captain.

"I'm so sorry, taicho. I overheard. I don't know why it's so quick, I came here as fast as I could. I'm so sorry."

Karin paled as she pieced two and two together. "Momo…?" She croaked painfully. The other two turned their heads and looked at her as if they had never seen her in their life before. They nodded together.

"We have to move fast then, if we want to save her." Karin began rambling, her brain not quite comprehending what her words were saying. "It's today, right? So once Toshiro finishes lunch we will set out. Her execution will most likely be on that big hill so maybe we can use shunpo up the sides and try and grab her just before she gets killed. I mean, we do want a hero's entrance, right?"

"…"

"…Right?"

"Look, Karin." Matsumoto began gently. "I mean sure, we all want to save her but really, it's far too late to plan anything. Her execution is happening right now and honestly, there's simply nothing we are able to do to stop it. If we try, we're just gonna lose another one of us, and we can't risk that."

"So you're just going to let her die? You're just going to sit there and twiddle your thumbs while Momo is being taken to her death?" She screamed frantically, her eyes wide with realisation. She knew that what Matsumoto was saying was perfectly logical but didn't just want to believe it. "You're just as bad as Grimmjow!"

"Karin!" Toshiro barked. She took one look at his stern face and screamed, fed up with them. Didn't they understand? She walked off in a huff and sat down in the corner facing away from them, grasping Tobiume in her arms as if her life depended on it.

"They don't get it, Momo." She whispered to the blade. "They just don't understand, not even Toshiro. I don't know what to do, Momo. Tell me what to do."

Her sparkling tears dripped down onto the sword and Tobiume began to glow. Karin watched in amazement and her breath hitched in excitement. She spoke hurriedly, hoping against hope that somehow, Momo would be able to hear her words.

"I have one more request, right? One last thing that you would do for me. I've got it now. Momo, stay with me. Stay with me forever. Don't die, Momo! Please don't die!"

The glow died down as she finished. Matsumoto and Toshiro were talking quietly together and didn't notice anything out of the normal. Karin sighed in contentment. At least, she'd done what she could.

"Thanks, Momo."

…

_I have one more request, right? One last thing that you would do for me._

_I've got it now. Momo, stay with me. Stay with me forever._

_Don't die, Momo! Please don't die!_

Momo gasped and spun around. That voice! It sounded exactly like Karin! Nobody else seemed to notice though and she let her breath out in a sigh, then a quiet laugh.

"Silly Karin." She murmured to herself. "That's two requests, not one. Well, don't worry, it's all right, I can fulfil your first one for you. You said that one first. I'll stay with you forever."

_Thanks, Momo._

"No problems." She smiled her pretty little smile and allowed herself to be tied to the post. She cleared her throat and smiled at the crowd of wary shinigami. All the captains were there, everybody that she had once known and loved. She had given all this up for Karin, for Toshiro and Matsumoto.

"I hope you know," She began speaking, clear and confidently. "That if you kill me, it will be the biggest mistake of your entire life."

Mutters of suspicion edged through the crowd. Momo smiled again, a shocking contrast to her position and her dark words dripping with malice and lies.

"Let me tell you a story" She started off pleasant enough. "Once upon a time, there was an evil man named Aizen."

"Aizen's dead." Yamamoto soutaicho growled. "I killed him myself."

"I know, and I would most certainly applaud you if I my hands weren't inconveniently tied behind me." She meant it, but they didn't believe her. It didn't matter though; she was going to die anyway. "Let me continue. So Aizen was killed by a strong, brave head captain. Everybody was celebrating. But the one thing that they didn't count on was whether or not Aizen had the power to transfer his shocking strength into another body."

Roars of anger and disbelief shook the mountain and Momo had to shout loudly to get everybody's attention again.

"Just what are you implying?" The cold-hearted Kuchiki captain asked her quietly. Momo beamed; finally somebody was starting to understand.

"Because Aizen had always trusted me more than anybody else, he had discreetly transferred his powers into my body." She whispered dramatically. It was completely untrue, of course. But they didn't need to know that. The listeners were in rapt attention, clinging terrified onto every word she uttered. Momo giggled inwardly. She had always had a knack for story telling. "You never knew. You never knew, did you? You held me alone in that horrible mental hospital. There was nobody with me. Nobody to see what I had to endure through. The pain was excruciating. It was agony. I bet you never knew." She pictured her friends, her loved ones being taken away from her. She pictured her own death and her eyes darkened, narrowed into cold slits. "You never thought that, through my loneliness, Aizen-taicho would've been able to get through to my heart. And get through to my heart he did. He gave me his powers, knowing that I will be the only one he could really confide in and trust. It was a punishment for you. For the entire Soul Society. I can unleash it. I can unleash it at my will and destroy the whole of Soul Society. It won't take a second."

"What do you want from us?" Momo frowned. Soi Fon had always felt the need to be a step ahead. She leaned her head back onto the post she was tied on and sighed, gazing up at the clear blue sky.

"I want a trade."

Soi Fon's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "What kind of trade?"

Momo's sharp eyes glimmered. "A trade." She replied simply. "I will save the destruction of Soul Society for the lives of three friends."

"And you?"

"I shall accept my fate."

"Alright." A proud smiled edged its way onto the petite captain's face. "It's a deal."

"A trade." Momo corrected her in annoyance.

"A trade, then."

Momo nodded and swallowed nervously. Now that the hard part was done, she was scared.

"Before you kill me, let them go first. I want to see with my own eyes that they will be safe."

"Who are the three friends that you insist on saving?" This time it was Yamamoto soutaicho who spoke up.

"Kurosaki Karin. Hitsugaya Toshiro. And Matsumoto Rangiku."

Her whispers were like piercing screams that ripped across Soul Society and Karin froze as she felt the chill settle within her.

"Momo." She choked out. "Momo's calling for us."

Toshiro looked up from the table to glance at her. "I felt it too. Matsumoto!" He called over to the auburn haired beauty. She nodded in understanding.

"All right. Let's go."

…

A gasp of shock.

A sudden rush of pain.

Karin cried out in horror as she saw Momo on the hill.

"Momo!"

The raven-haired bun girl gave a reassuring giggle. "I'm fine, Karin. I'm perfectly fine. Just having a nice little chat here, so glad that you could come along. Oh, good afternoon Shiro-chan, Matsumoto."

Momo's large, frightened brown eyes betrayed her true feelings and Karin had to bite her lip from crying out again. Ignoring the other shinigami, Karin ran over to her best friend. The soutaicho stopped her just as she was about to reach the ill-fated girl and Karin screamed in irritation.

"I'm sorry." Momo whispered; her words cutting like knife piercings to Karin soul. "I didn't plan for it to be like this."

"If only you hadn't of gone to get those damned flowers." Karin breathed, her eyes watering up again. "You wouldn't have to be in this situation."

Momo smiled through her own tears. "They were lilies, Toshiro's favourite flower, did you know?"

Karin shook her head and swallowed miserably. Momo sighed.

"I don't regret it, Karin. Doing so has spared your lives."

"What?"

"It's a trade. You're free to go." Momo gave one more of her lovely smiles as she closed her eyes and tipped back her head, drawing in the sunlight.

"Momo." Karin choked. "It doesn't have to be like this. Don't die. I told you not to die!"

"No. You told me to stay with you forever. It's all right, Karin. This'll work out."

Tears of pain. "Don't die."

A bitter smile. "I can't promise that."

…

The stab wounds were blows directly to her heart. They pierced her organs and blood spurted freely out. She watched her body crumble but felt no pain, only the strange numbness that death after death brings.

"There we go, Karin." She mumbled incoherently. Somehow, she found herself unable to speak properly. Her mouth wasn't co-operating. Her tongue tripped and blundered over the words, a strange contrast to her usual sharp and crisp melodious words.

"I'll be with you forever now. I'll stay with you, in your heart. I know you won't forget me, ever."

Oh, Momo…

Karin was far too distressed to reprimand her best friend that her words were corny.

And the raven haired beauty succumbed to her fate.

…

Darkness fell upon her, crushing her soul and Hinamori Momo closed her eyes, ready to embrace the sorrowful arms of death. Her body felt light, lighter than air and she slowly felt herself slipping away from consciousness.

_You guys, take care._

* * *

_I know, I know. This one's really dark and kinda traumatic. :| Well, I did put angst as one of the genres..._

_I just hope you guys like angst._

_Reeeeeviewwwww!_


	18. Chapter 16

_Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach_

_Hey. There's an important note at the bottom of this chapter so please read it after you finish reading the chapter. I don't really want to spoil anything so read it afterwards. Unless you like spoilers, of course. I know I do. :)_

_Enjoy!_

* * *

**Take me to heaven: I'm yours**

_Chapter 16: It's not too late to change anything_

* * *

He watches as she breaks, cries and screams. Her eyes like glassy dark pools of water, her mouth cursing profanities.

He tells her gently, steadily, to get a life. She can't stay cooped up like this any longer.

Tears subside and anger bursts. She yells at him to shut up. But he won't, he still cares for her and hurts to see her in this way. Her raven black hair is twisted, knotted and grimy but he doesn't care. He takes her hand and runs his other one through her dirty hair, loosening the knots and brushing it out. She turns away from him and pulls her own hand away, uncomfortable with the intimacy he's making.

She swallows and takes a deep breath, hiccupping as she tries to steady herself. Careful, he cautions as she tries to stand. She glares at him and tells him that she's not disabled and can take perfectly good care of herself, thank you very much. He's not convinced. He takes her hand once more and helps her stand, catching her when she wobbles.

Believe it or not, they're living in a huge oak tree, far away from Karakura Town. They don't know where they are, only that they ran for 3 days as far as they could from her hometown. It was at Karin's insistence, of course. Funnily enough, she didn't want to see her family after all this time. Toshiro, along with Matsumoto, had humoured her.

She's changed, he noted. Being with Aizen and Grimmjow had hardened her; her smiles were no longer so innocent, so playful. Instead, they dripped with sorrow and a certain frost that never seemed to melt.

He tells her to be more cautious and she decides to scream at him, sick of his urging and care. She's grown up, she tells him. She's no longer the little kid he once knew.

Matsumoto sits, watching sadly from the corner, wondering when their argument would end. Then she realises that it might just be premarital bickering and beams, shielding herself away from all the more difficult choices because, try as she might, she just can't take anymore misery.

It's a sad world they live in now, one devoid of any shinigami and action and bloody sword fights. It's boring and there not even any paperwork to keep him busy, to stop him from thinking those horrible thoughts.

So they come, in the form of the lovely Momo, shockingly spoilt and distorted, telling him what a heartless bastard he is. How he let her die so cruelly. Sometimes he even wakes up screaming from this deformed, evil version of his childhood friend.

This time, it's Karin who tells him to get a life and stop dwelling on the things from the past. _The past is history, _she tells him._ Something you don't need to cling onto. You let go and then, only then, can you move on._

He tells her that she should start taking her own advice; maybe then the world might not seem so bleak. All right, she relents. If they both move on then life could only get better, right?

Right, he says.

And it's a promise.

…

He relaxes.

She groans.

And somehow, they complement each other.

"Sometimes, I don't know why I even bother." She grumbled as she cooked dinner. "I mean, it's not like Matsumoto's really that bad at cooking. At least she can make something edible."

He opened one eyes lazily and cocked an incredulous eyebrow up.

"All right, maybe she can't but that doesn't mean I have to cook. I have better things to do with my time."

"You bother because deep, deep down, you really do care for us, correct?"

She paled. _How did he know!_

"…"

"…"

She decides to try a trick; it works 99% of the time anyway.

"…Watermelon?"

_Weak,_ he thought. _But I'll give her points for trying._

He humours her.

"Of course."

_Bingo!_

…

"Neh, Toshiro?"

"Mmm?"

"I've been thinking-"

"Well that's a surprise." He couldn't help it; the chance was too good to pass up. She scowled at him.

"No really, I've been thinking that… you should go back to Soul Society."

He didn't reply and Karin sighed, knowing that he would act this way. She peeked a glance at him and her heart sunk. His eyes were rock solid, as if frozen in ice. His lips were so thin they could just disappear into the depths of his mouth.

"Look, I know it's a bit stupid and it's a bit out there but I've been thinking it through. I mean, you had a proper life there and you had an awesome job and you were… you were _happy_ there."

"Do I not look happy to you?" He snapped back.

She chose to ignore that.

"I just don't think you should be doing all this for me, you know? I mean, it's your life; I want you to do something good with it. Being with me, helping me escape, you sacrificed your life. I don't want you to do that. I want you to be happy."

He sighed. "Karin, I made a choice when I took off with you and Momo. So did Matsumoto. That choice was mine to make, not yours, so I'll accept the consequences it brings. This is not something for you to worry about, alright? Because now that I've left, I sure as hell ain't going back."

Karin laughed, clapping her hands. Toshiro scowled.

"What?"

She beamed and leant forwards so they were face to face.

"I'm rubbing off on you. You never used to talk like that."

He reddened and turned away from her playful stare.

"Shut up."

She smiled and turned away from him, drinking in the sight of the hill they sat on. It was late, almost 11:30 pm and no stars lit the sky from where they were sitting. She leant back onto the huge oak tree that they called home and dug her fingers into the soil around it. Toshiro could only smile. She was so at home here, so connected to the nature around her.

He watched her, mesmerized and told himself that he was only watching her because she seemed happy. Here where the long grass had never been cut and the wind whispered melodies into her ears, she was content.

Matsumoto had gone to steal some more blankets and other useful things that they could use for daily living. They hadn't taken any of Momo's belongings from the cave and Toshiro was deeply relieved that he had remembered to put Momo's own invisibility kido spell around it, so that no other person besides himself would be able to see it.

That night, as the leaves blow into his face and the wind whispers into his tired ears, he lets go of his nightmares and dreams of Karin instead. Her pretty smile and captivating eyes.

…

_I think I love her._

…

"Yay! Taicho, are you going to propose to her?"

"Prop-what?"

"Propose. That thing humans do when they get married, you know? The men hop down on one knee and say, 'Will you marry me?' It's so cute, neh taicho?"

His face turned a flaming red. He hadn't even said anything except that he liked it when she smiled! Over-reactive woman these days, honestly.

"We're not getting married!" He shouted at his lieutenant.

Matsumoto sighed, she had been joking. Over reactive white-haired captains these days, honestly.

"Who're you not getting married to?" Karin's voice rang loud and clear through the night. He looked up at her in surprise. He thought she had been sleeping. Her face held a hint of amusement, a hint of cheekiness, completed with a tinge of red on her cheeks. Her eyes glinted and her smile widened.

"Nobody." He muttered. "Go back to sleep, Karin."

She pouted.

…

His heart was pounding. He could feel the adrenaline coursing through his veins. A sword fight to death? That's easy. A world war? That's nothing. An angry Karin? Uh oh, now he's scared.

His hands were shaking as he fished around his pockets for that box Matsumoto had given him a few days ago. It's necessary, she had told him. You're an idiot if you don't have one.

He approached Karin as she sat beside the tree, plucking the grass and digging through the soil. _She seems extra bright today_, he thought. Or maybe that was just his nervousness speaking.

She smiled as he got nearer to her and showed him something cupped in her palm.

"Look," She said. "Isn't it pretty?"

_(It's stunning, Karin. Just like you.)_

It was a small flower, with white petals in shades of red. She lifted it to his face.

"Smell it, it smells nice."

He drew in a deep breath from his nose but smelt nothing except her aroma. She gave another huge grin and stood up.

"No, don't leave." He burst out.

"Um," She frowned. "I need to go to the toilet, Tosh. Either I leave or you leave because I don't want to pee right here in front of you."

He paled. As much as he liked her, he didn't want to see her pee. But it was now or never. He gulped, tilting his head back and gazing at the sky above him. The peacefulness of the pale blue hue calmed him and he finally drifted his beautiful teal eyes slowly down to meet her stunning midnight ones.

"What is it, Tosh? Hurry up."

He smiled, taking her hand in his.

"Will you marry me?"

* * *

_OK. So people were getting confused and they don't seem to be seeing a storyline to this story._

_Firstly, you're probably right. There is a storyline, but really faint. So I don't blame you for complaining. I wrote down the storyline in one big chuck, without much detail and planning cause I hate doing that. Bad habit. Anyway, basically I thought the storyline was something along the lines of:_

_Part II - Karin and Momo are in the cave. They set out to find Toshiro and Matsumoto. Along the way back, Momo is executed. The rest of the part is just Karin getting over Momo's death and there are some twists along the way. :)_

_I hope that's a good enough storyline. If you believe it's crappy. Just say 'it's crappy'. I will not be offended in any way, shape or form. And yeah, I kinda really want some opinions. So if you can tell me then that's great._

_But please, revieeew! :D_

_Oh yeah, and sorry for the cliff hanger. :)_


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